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2008.07.10 00:26 Relationships

/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve.

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2020.12.01 21:58 IZ0LATION missing out on dating and relationships in your teenage years (and i'd say even in your early 20s) is harmful

A lot of people will tell you that missing out on dating and relationships in your teenage years or even your young adulthood is no big deal and that there's so much more ahead. Nope. Not really. Once you get to your 30s, you aren't in your youth anymore. At that age, your body physically rots. Your skin gets rougher and wrinklier, you get a couple of gray hairs, your testosterone decreases and your energy decreases, you're more likely to have a receding hairline, your looks decline and you missed out on the most social time of your life: high school and college.
People will say "but teenagers don't know how to handle relationships or teenagers often have it awkward when they try sex because it's their first time" but first of all, anyone who loses their virginity has it initially awkward or painful regardless of age and second of all, in your teenage years, people are learning how to start relationships, and when you're an adult, everyone knows how to do it and has experience while you never learned how to yet, making you interpersonally behind. And teenagers don't necessarily have relationships problems, adults do too. Intimate partner violence is most common among 18-34 year olds.
Here's some data to look at:
In a pivotal study about involuntary celibacy from 2001 called Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis, researchers talked to three involuntarily celibate groups of people: Involuntary virgins (those who never had sex and still are sexually inexperienced), singles (those who had sexual experience in the past but no longer are able to, and a good amount of these people resorted to hookers or even sexual surrogates), and partnered celibates (those who are married or in a relationship but their partner won't have sex). 91% of the virgins said they never dated as teenagers, compared to 52% of singles. Here is an important quote:
"In summary, while most of our sample had discussed sex with friends and experimented with masturbation as teens, most of the virgins and singles did not date. Singles were similar to partnered persons in terms of first sexual experiences, while the majority of virgins reported first sexual experiences that did not include another person. As the data illustrates, virgins and singles may have missed important transitions, and as they got older, their trajectories began to differ from those of their age peers. As Thorton (1990) noted, patterns of sexuality in young adulthood are significantly related to dating, steady dating, and sexual experience in adolescence. It is rare for a teenager to initiate sexual activity outside of a dating relationship. Thus, persons reaching young adulthood without dating may have missed an important opportunity for sexual experience. While virginity and lack of experience are fairly common in teenagers and young adults, by the time many of our respondents reached their mid-twenties they reported feeling left behind by age peers. We suspect that this is especially true for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth. In fact, all eight of the nonheterosexual respondents in our sample were either virgins or singles. As previous researchers have shown, a major reason for becoming off time in making sexual transitions is the process of coming out to oneself and others (Gonsiorek & Rudolph, 1991). Even for the heterosexuals in our study, however, it appears that lack of dating and sexual experimentation in the teen years may be precursors to problems in adult sexual relationships."
In the study Sexuality and Autistic-Like Symptoms in Juvenile Sex Offenders: A Follow-Up After 8 Years, a study primarily about juvenile sex offenders and autism, the researchers wrote briefly about teenage romance, writing:
"The foundation for a healthy sexuality in adulthood lies in childhood and adolescence, with the discovery of one's own sexuality oftentimes going in phases. A large population study in the Netherlands amongst 7841 boys and girls aged 12–25 has shown that half of all 15-year-old adolescents have been intimate with a partner (e.g., touching each other’s genitalia). At age 16, half of all youths have experience with mutual masturbation and at age 17, half of all youths have experienced sexual intercourse and/or oral sex. Eventually, relationships and sexual intimacy become more serious; relationships last longer and are more exclusive, eventually leading to the ‘adult’ model of a committed relationship."
Other studies also confirm the importance of experiencing dating and relationships in the teenage years. For example, in the study Sexuality (and Lack Thereof) in Adolescence and Early Adulthood: A Review of the Literature., the authors wrote:
“One study showed that adult virgins have higher odds of being overweight and of being perceived as physically unattractive. Four additional studies reported that adult virgins have greater probabilities of never having been in a romantic relationship. Moreover, in a qualitative study conducted among 82 involuntary celibate adults aged 18 to 64 years, Donnelly and colleagues found that nearly all adult virgins never dated anyone, including in adolescence. Thus, findings converge to support the importance of romantic and sexual experiences during adolescence for ongoing romantic and sexual development in adulthood. Additionally, this study revealed that these adult virgins perceived themselves as being very shy and unable to establish social contacts, and reported body image issues, such as being overweight and perceiving their physical appearance to be an obstacle to their sexuality.”
The authors of Has Virginity Lost Its Virtue?: Relationship Stigma Associated With Being A Sexually Inexperienced Adult. also confirmed that experiencing sexual activity and relationships late in life is harmful, writing: "Because intimate relationships are essential to well-being, especially across the adult life course, it seems that being a late bloomer with sexual debut could be associated with negative social and interpersonal consequences."
And if you think you can find your first partner that easily in adulthood, you're wrong. Quite the opposite is true, especially for virgin men. Many women won't date a virgin. In fact, a study showed that many virgins refuse to date virgins (although another study shows that virgins are willing to date virgins).
According to a study in The Journal of Sex Research, people are judgmental towards virgins in real life, not just in movies or television shows. In the first part of the study, researchers asked 560 heterosexual adults ages 18 to 71, about a quarter of whom were virgins, to rate their agreement with statements like "I feel that I am odd or abnormal because of my level of sexual experience" and "People treat me differently because of my level of sexual experience." Researchers discovered that virgins—but not those who were very sexually experienced—perceived a lot of stigma and exclusion around their sex lives. Then, the researchers asked another group of 4,934 single, heterosexual adults 21 and over, "How likely are you to consider getting into a committed relationship with someone who is a virgin?" The results confirmed the first findings: People rated their likelihood of dating a virgin at a 2.41, below the scale's midpoint of 2.5. The researchers also found that virgins were even less likely than non-virgins to be willing to enter a relationship with another virgin. Nonetheless, mysteriously, another study shows that virgins are more willing than non-virgins to date other virgins. In the third part of the study, college students ranked dating profiles of virgins and non-virgins, and the latter were again considered more desirable dates. Nonetheless, in this case, virgins were more willing than the rest of the population to dating another virgin. In a survey conducted by among single men and women who are non-members of (i.e.: not members of, 42% of respondents said they refuse to date a virgin (51% of women, compared to only 33% of men). Younger single adults were less willing to date a virgin than older single adults.
So as you can see, many people won't date you when they discover that you're a virgin, and lying is pointless, because they'll know when they see how you act during sex.
TL;DR: when people are in their teenage years, they typically first experience relationships, or sex or dating, and the ones who don't will usually experience it in college. If you miss out on your teenage years and early 20s, you will be interpersonally behind because you didn't start relationships and knowing how to handle them while everyone else is more skilled at it than you.
submitted by IZ0LATION to ForeverAlone [link] [comments]

2020.12.01 15:09 rightwingnews /u/Extra_Custard on Has anyone here transitioned from being a liberal to a conservative in the last 4 years? If so what were some specific reasons for you change in views?

100%! On the surface, liberal values sound great!
What I didn't realize are some nuances that conservatives have realized but liberals haven't yet.
What helped: Dating my now-husband that refused to watch the news together, and talking about incentives after consuming movies or tv shows. What values are they trying to promote with this movie, why would they want to encourage that, and do I actually agree, or did the movie just make me feel like I agree?
from Extra_Custard on Has anyone here transitioned from being a liberal to a conservative in the last 4 years? If so what were some specific reasons for you change in views?
submitted by rightwingnews to DebateRightists [link] [comments]

2020.12.01 13:30 readingrachelx Housewife highlights/Daily shit talk - December 1st, 2020

"Lisa Rinna fans can finally “own it,” just like her.
The “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star, 57, released her Rinna Beauty line of lipsticks, lip liners and lip glosses on Cyber Monday.
She announced the launch in September, after teasing fans with the idea at 2019’s BravoCon.
“I’m the lip pioneer,” Rinna boldly said in a press release.
“My new line embodies everything that I’ve ever known and learned in my life, whether I’ve been on camera or off. Rinna Beauty is me, and I’m so gratified to now share that with people interested in makeup, style and looking and feeling their very best.”
The first products include the Icon Lip Kit ($45), which comes in three editions — Legends Only, No Apologies and Birthday Suit — each with a lipstick, gloss and liner.
The lipstick comes in three shades (Rosé All Day, Troublemaker or Pucker Up, B!tch) as does the gloss (Dancing Queen, No Filter or Guilty Pleasure). Each kit has the same Notice Me liner. Lipsticks ($22) and glosses ($19) can also be bought separately."
"During a recent podcast appearance, the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and current star of Vanderpump Rules reacted to the unconventional marriage and explained why she didn’t tune into RHOBH season 10 before detailing her tagline drama and weighing in on the way she’s been portrayed by Bravo.
“Can you imagine knowing that the man you’re sleeping with used to shag your grandmother?” Lisa wondered during a November 24 appearance on the Comments by Bravo podcast. “I don’t want anything near me that’s been inside my grandmother’s vagina. I am not interested.”
“I’ve gotta watch [The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City],” she continued. “[But] it sounds more like [The Jerry Springer Show] than the Housewives.”
In addition to not watching the RHOSLC, Lisa skipped the 10th season of RHOBH.
“I made a distinct effort to not watch [The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills]. I didn’t want to have an opinion about it and I didn’t want to be emotionally invested in something I had no control over,” Lisa explained. “It was easier and less painful for me just to step away from it.”
Although Lisa wasn’t watching when Brandi Glanville accused Denise Richards of sleeping with her, she confirmed she heard plenty about the drama on social media.
“From what I gathered, [Denise] just didn’t want to be open with what actually transpired. But that’s what she should have said to them,” Lisa noted. “She should have said, ‘What I do has nothing to do with you so bugger off.’”
Looking back at her time on RHOBH, Lisa said Bravo nearly shot down her season seven tagline.
“My season seven tag line was, ‘I’m passionate about dogs just not crazy about b***hes.’ And they said, ‘You can’t say that. We said we would never have the word b***h in a tagline.’ And I said, ‘Why? I’m talking about the dogs. I’m not talking about the women.’ And they were like, ‘Yeah.’ And so I kind of refused to say any other line,” she admitted.
Because Lisa’s relationships with her castmates were extremely strained throughout her final seasons on the show, she nearly turned down an appearance in Lady Gaga‘s music video for “G.U.Y.” because she didn’t want to be in the same room as her co-stars.
While the singer called her directly to request she make a cameo, Lisa first told her she did not want to be around them.
“And she said, ‘Don’t worry, I’m going to get you your own car, you can come up there, you just have to film with them, but you’re going to be separated in your own dressing room, your own car,’ and I said, ‘That’s going to make it even worse,’” Lisa revealed. “And she said, ‘Listen, I really want you to be in it and Giggy can come as well.’ And when she said that, I was like, ‘Okay, I’ll go for it.’”
Also during the podcast, Lisa said that when it comes to the way she’s been portrayed by Bravo over the past several years, she feels her true personality came through during her time on the RHOBH.
“I think people always saw me as a woman that worked. They like to show the whole glossy part of life and obviously, that’s more exciting than me being at home ironing Ken’s underpants. [But] I think that people saw that I didn’t take myself too seriously,” she shared."
"When Season 5 of The Real Housewives of Dallas premieres on Bravo this January, the cast will be joined by a new lady, physician Tiffany Moon. And you should know now that she's "better than Doogie Howser" as she says in the trailer, above.
According to her bio, "Born in a small town just outside of Beijing, China, Tiffany Moon moved to the United States when she was just 6 years old. The product of extreme 'Tiger Parents,' she graduated college at 19 years old and medical school at 23, where she finished in the top 10 percent of her class. Introduced to the ladies by D’Andra, Tiffany struggles to find the balance between her demanding job as a frontline worker during the pandemic and being a wife and a mother to her 5-year-old twin girls."
As we learn in the Season 5 trailer, Tiffany is all about her two young daughters and giving them the best possible life: "I want to give them the childhood that I never had."
Her Instagram bio notes that she is an anesthesiologist as well as a "Wannabe Comedian, Fashion-lover, [and] TikTokker."
It also appears that she's an "accidental entrepreneur" and has been making face coverings and other products to support charitable causes.
Season 5 of RHOD premieres on Tuesday, January 5 at 9/8c. Tiffany will be joined by Brandi Redmond, D’Andra Simmons, Kameron Westcott, Kary Brittingham, and Stephanie Hollman. Jennifer Davis Long will also appear throughout the season as a friend of the ladies."
"Just me without makeup or hair done," she explained. "For some reason like the days I didn’t think it mattered it seems to have mattered. So, guess what, that just puts more emphasis on the fact that like every day you’re on... You got to show up, you got to get dressed, you got to put a face on. And it’s like a lot, you know. But I try to. But looking, watching it now I am cringing thinking you could have, couldn’t you have put a comb through your hair? Put some lip gloss on? What are you thinking?"
Like a true New York City native, Lisa Barlow found a way to make an all-black outfit completely unforgettable. Her Vauthier gown featured a long-sleeved turtleneck design, but the shimmery velour fabric and dramatic leg slit are what truly brought the heat. Paired with black Givenchy stilettos and custom-made jewelry from Diamond Dave, Lisa explained that she was going for an “effortless” vibe.
“I love a very simple, chic look that’s timeless,” she said. Lisa’s vision undoubtedly comes through in every detail of her look, down to the nude gel manicure with a black outline.
When it comes to planning an outfit, Lisa’s process is simple, too. “I do all of my own looks,” she revealed. Though she works as her own stylist, she does have some help when it comes time to find her wardrobe’s most exclusive pieces. “I have a team I have been working with for six years to find me the hard-to-get pieces I die over.”
Lisa’s ultra-straight hair may seem like a straightforward style, but according to her hairstylist, Chloe Sylvester, careful selection went into choosing products that would maintain her hair’s health with a look that required so much heat. Sylvester used products from Nicole and Brizee, the hair care line Lisa co-owns with twins Brie and Nikki Bella from E!’s Total Bellas, to keep her mane silky.
Artist Morgan Fay explained each makeup decision was made to highlight Lisa’s natural features, including bronze eyeshadows to bring out her brown eyes, a “sculpted style” to accentuate her cheekbones and jawline (shout out to their go-to Fenty bronzer and Huda Beauty facial powder), and her signature nude lip to flaunt her full pout.
Mary Cosby is very committed to looking fabulous at all times. In fact, she even showed up late to the crew’s ski trip, because she was waiting for the perfect outfit for the occasion to arrive in the mail. In the iconic words of Mary: “I like to wear the brands that don’t give you wedgies, and Chanel is one of them, and I’m willing to wait for it.”
Although Mary’s look did include a diamond Chanel estate bracelet, there are a few other brands Mary wholeheartedly stands behind, such as Pamella Roland, the designer of her winter-inspired look, and Christian Louboutin, who is responsible for her peep-toe pumps.
“I was going for a snowing illusion that reminded me of my hometown that is glamorous, yet has meaning,” she explained. “Also, I felt great about the color with my complexion.”
As relatable as her press-on gel French tip manicure is, Mary’s unwavering fabulousness really came through when she reflected on her overall vibe.
“I love my look. I felt like I lost weight from stress, the dress was so heavy!” she said. “I felt that I worked out, but in the same, I felt like a princess for a day.”
A wise woman once said, “Perfection is attainable,” and that wise woman was Heather Gay (during the RHOSLC trailer, of course!). The self-proclaimed “Good Mormon gone bad” provided some pretty convincing evidence for that bold claim with her look, which she said she was feelin’ fine in.
In a curve-hugging metallic Rene Ruiz dress, Heather went for a gunmetal glam-inspired vibe. The gown’s sizzling hot leg slit gave us a better look at her strappy Gianni Bini stilettos.
Heather’s trusted hairstylist, Vince Abram has a serious eye for details (really, he’s also an interior designer!), which is made obvious by the fact that she didn’t have a single hair out of place. But if you take a look at Heather’s personal behind-the-scenes photos, you’ll see that the precise styling is no joke.
Vince explained the “fresh sleek modern flat iron waves,” which were “inspired by the clean lines and strength of the dress and jewelry,” was created with Murray’s EdgeWax and a toothbrush to ensure fly-aways and “fuzzy edges” were tamed. The style was completed with R+Co Outer Space Hairspray, which is a secret weapon for maintaining a hold while avoiding a crunch.
Meredith was going for “ice queen” realness, and her Rami Kadi couture gown and YSL heels were undoubtedly the perfect choices. She noted that she felt "AMAZING” in the intricately beaded number, and in a behind-the-scenes Instagram post, she confirmed “the vision came to life.”
As if the sleek, caped dress wasn’t beautiful enough on its own, Meredith had just the trick for creating a look that was dripping in diamonds: “Jewelry by Meredith Marks, of course!”
Though her duds were incredibly extravagant, Meredith leveled-out the look with soft, glowing glam.
“We kept the hair sleek and silky,” explained hair stylist Jenna Kilgrow. “The straight, clean look plays off the elegant lines in her gown.”
The makeup was also inspired by the dress, and Matthew Alexander said that the goal was to keep Meredith looking “radiant” by wrapping “warm, mid-town browns around her eyes in a sultry shape.” As for that perfectly pink lip? It’s Charlotte Tilbury lipstick in the cult-favorite Pillow Talk shade.
Whitney Rose felt “fierce” in her beautiful blue look, and it’s easy to understand why. The RHOSLC mama also wanted to serve “ice queen vibes,” and the whopping 70 carats of tanzanite gems she sported were most definitely icy. Her Nasty Gal gown featured a dramatic plunging neckline that showed some skin while giving her layered necklaces the spotlight.
Whitney’s hairstylist, Ryan M. Scottsdale,(who is also responsible for the chic bob and bangs she recently debuted), was going for a “snow lioness” look, and he absolutely delivered with this mane of lush, platinum blond waves.
Although cool tones were a major inspiration behind Whitney’s entire look, makeup artist Paige Camryn decided to switch things up with a “rose on ice” beat that shimmered with the help of Becca’s Champagne Pop highlighter.
If it looks like Jen Shah’s dress was made just for her… that’s because it was. With a hand-beaded Swarovski crystal bodice and a silver silk charmeuse fitted skirt, every inch of the asymmetrical design was iconic, and created by Koa Johnson, the head designer of Jen’s line, JXA Fashion.
To showcase the unique neckline of the gown while capturing her “edgy, sophisticated, off-the-runway and bold” essence, Jen’s hairstylist Adam Simmons went for a slicked-back style, featuring staggered metallic Bobbi pins and textured waves in the back.
Makeup artist Jillian Silva created a “glittery, but sultry” look with Fenty Beauty contour sticks, Reflex silver pigmentation from MAC, Becca Opal highlighter, and of course, ShahLashes from Shah Beauty.
The couture dress wasn’t the only part of Jen’s look that was crafted exclusively for her. The manicure was a custom luxury press-on set from High Shine Studio.
"Meghan King and Christian Schauf have split up but remain on “good terms,” the Uncharted Supply Company CEO exclusively tells Page Six.
On Monday, E! News reported that Schauf, 40, broke up with the former “Real Housewives of Orange County” star, 36, because he “couldn’t take all the social media and public attention.”
However, Schauf told us the article is “pretty inaccurate.”
“I’ve never had any problem with any form of publicity,” he told us. “We lead very different lives and knew that when we met. Sometimes this happens. I wish nothing but the best for Meghan and the kids and we’re on good terms.”
King also confirmed the breakup to us on Monday and addressed it on her Instagram Story, writing that she and Schauf “decided to part ways in the most loving and healthy way.”
“We just got off the phone laughing at how to ‘announce’ this,” she continued, “and he suggested some cute, sappy breakup quote. I agreed so here ya go!”
Along with the quote, which encourages people to take a moment, not be too hard on yourself and grow from your experiences, she added, “I experienced a beautiful relationship that blossomed before it ended and I will always hold him in the highest regard and with the utmost respect.”
King met Schauf in early 2019 on a dating app and through a mutual friend, trainer Nancy Anderson. The couple made their relationship Instagram official in May 2020.
In July, Schauf opened up to Page Six about his experience dating the former “RHOC” star, who shares three kids with her ex-husband, MLB star Jim Edmonds.
“Most people that I’ve dated have some kind of legacy to them,” he said. “I had gotten to a point where I’ve gotten comfortable with the situation.”
King and Edmonds, 50, have had a contentious relationship in the public eye, which Schauf previously acknowledged was “not easy” for the single mom to “deal with.”
At the time, the Utah-based businessman also slammed reports that he was dating King for the fame.
“I found that pretty funny because if fame was what I was after, I’ve had dozens of opportunities in my life to do something for fame,” he said. “I don’t think moving from Los Angeles to Park City is something that somebody who’s fame-hungry [would do].”
Schauf added, “I’m a dude that’s been pretty career-focused, and has been trying to meet the right person.”
King and Schauf still follow each other on social media, and the Uncharted Supply Company CEO even congratulated the former reality star on buying her first home."
"OK, it’s so funny," Elizabeth explained. "My whole family has asses, all the same. Even my brother has my same ass. It’s the Mexican side. I can’t help it. The Mexican comes out my ass. But thank you." That's right, head-turning backsides run in her family. And though she doesn't spend all of her free time doing squats and lunges to perfect her backside, she is upping her fitness routine.
"I'm training for a marathon," Elizabeth responded. "But I mean, other than that, I think it’s just natural. Even my brother Jonathan, he has the same exact ass. It’s high, it looks like a little heart, you know."
submitted by readingrachelx to RHDiscussion [link] [comments]

2020.12.01 11:15 SnickerToodles [Long] Megalist of Tropes and Themes to Tag Your Story With

I'm sorry this is so long, but I made this some time ago and thought it might be helpful to share here. I'm not sure how to format it for Reddit so I left it as is. (The original Tumblr post.)
Whenever I post on AO3, I always struggle to come up with tags, so I made this list of themes.


submitted by SnickerToodles to FanFiction [link] [comments]

2020.12.01 03:12 tehbenneh M/37/HL, F/37/LL, we had that chat, I guess that's that. <<< ONE YEAR LATER

Hey deadbedrooms, long time no see!
A year ago my life went completely sideways when my then-wife told me she wanted to separate. I was understandably upset, and I wrote a pretty lengthy post in this sub as a result.
>>> here’s a link to that post <<<
It was a pretty cathartic act in itself and writing it really helped me collect my thoughts. I was probably a lot more lost than I sounded at the time. I was really surprised by the number of people that commented on that post - and it really had a positive effect on me.
I promised myself that I’d come back, give an update once the dust had settled, and let lurkers and people stuck in bad relationships know that life on the other side can be good… and here I am exactly a year later [some stuff happened between then and now].
So, the TL:DR version of my previous post is
But what came immediately after I submitted that post?
Initially, a really weird situation; in which everything changed but nothing changed - I wasn’t going to up and leave the marital home. It was rented rather than a marital asset; but I couldn’t simply disappear. Son has high functioning ASD, and from that point forward I’ve worked tirelessly at keeping things as simple as possible for him and his quality of life. I had to be present, for him.
A frosty atmosphere I could handle, I’d had years of training. Once kiddo was in bed, I’d get myself out in the evenings for a drive around, anywhere; i’d go anywhere - I just couldn’t handle any more nights of sitting in the living room in silence not being looked at or talked to; a complete waste of limited social time.
I had an idea of who I wanted to be, on the other side of this, but I had completely forgotten who I was before the relationship. I’d erased it all, I just couldn’t see any of it. For a few nights I drove to places that I knew from my youth; I knew they’d be empty in the late evenings and early hours of the mornings. The hill my sister and I flew kites with my dad. The long road I used to walk along to get back from school. Past old friends houses who’d since moved away or worse. So much had happened, just not to me.
I think I was looking for myself in some of these places, but it all looked different at night, illuminated under street lamps. It all looks very different in your late thirties, too. I’m glad I did it though, it was important. There were some residual memories, they were small but they reminded me that I was a person who could stand up and walk, talk, and eat and shit, and fuck, and have complex happy, exciting, sad, and fulfilling relationships, long before I was married. Removing the blinkers from around your eyes takes time, but the first step is discovering that they’re there.
One night, just before I was headed out, she ever-so-subtly double checked with me that I wasn’t going to be coming back for a couple of hours. She told me that she had a personal call to make. My brain told me that it was simply a bad idea, and my heart told me that it really didn’t want to receive another kicking, but I ended up quietly creeping back in a half hour after leaving.
I think I just had to know, you know?
So here’s a thing about me that any of my friends can attest to, I have a really terrible memory; but as it turns out when the stakes are high, it’s like a voice recorder switches on in my head.
There’s a place inside my old home, just inside the front door under the fuse box where i broke into pieces over the course of an hour or so. She was on the phone to her childhood friend, someone I’d considered a close friend too, for years. They were talking about how much she was going to allow me to know.
My mind went to the obvious place, but that wasn’t it; he’s gay, very gay in fact - end of. He’s in fact more likely to chase after me than her. He was being a diligent friend and talking her through her options and trying to calm her down as she was - supposedly - in the middle of some kind of mental breakdown.
Just, you know, the kind that you don’t let on to your partner of ten years about, right?
Supposedly she’d been allocated a therapist through her workplace and she’d gone hell for leather on it, and in doing so had dug up a monumental amount of damaged baggage that her therapist was urging her to finally confront and deal with. A lot of historic [non-abuse] family stuff was in there, and interestingly, as she was telling her childhood friend, she also felt compelled to reach out to an ex to apologise for something. The best friend wished her luck, but as he was leaving the call he made her promise to him that she wouldn’t kick me out of my own home before christmas.
Ah right, here we go. Whilst I’d obviously now been just inside the door for a half hour or so, I couldn’t leave now. It was already hurting me to do this, I was busting for a pee, I needed nicotine more than I’ve ever needed it in my life but I just stood, silently, not really knowing what to do. In truth, I was just kind of on autopilot, absorbing stuff. I was also acutely aware that opening the door to escape probably wouldn’t go undetected.
Next, she called her ex, and she apologised for causing a scene and really hurting his feelings the last time he came to see her and “fool around”, about eight years ago.
Eight years ago, right... ok.
She talked for a few minutes about stuff that was obviously bothering her, but I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t factor into any of this. There wasn’t a place where I fit. The marriage, and me too, were supposedly an unsuccessful side-quest set aside from the main story, here. She talked about having “married safe”. She talked about how I wouldn’t understand any of it, and wouldn’t be able to handle any of her issues. But… the things she was talking about, she’d never even tried to bring up with me. That bit hurt.
After she’d spent a few cursory minutes talking about stuff like that, she said something mean about my mother, and then they moved on to laughing and joking about old times. Shortly before they ended the call, he made her promise to delete their whatsapp history.
Which I found slightly odd. Why should she delete the whatsapp history if she was only just now reaching out to apologise for something said years ago?
She hung up, walked to the bathroom, and I quietly let myself back out whilst the toilet was flushing.
Listening in on conversations is bad, wrong, and invariably illegal - I get it. At the time, this felt like life and death. Part of me wanted to charge up the stairs and have a motherfucker of an argument, but what did I really have? A sleeping son, and nothing to fight with; she’d already cashed out about eight years ago, right? It wasn’t the right time, or the right place. I was vulnerable there, and still absorbing what had taken place over the last hour.
I let myself out, back to the car and drove around all night, I resigned to find a better way than a flat-out fight. I’d be too unprepared and can’t think on the fly like that; with me it takes time and planning. I’d gathered that she was intending to wait until the new year, and then drive the divorce her own way with her own agenda; relying on my historic tendency to let her have her way.
Which didn’t happen.
The next day, I spoke with my sister who lives locally. We’ve had each other’s backs since we were very young. She heard me out on everything, made me many cups of tea and coffee and was just about the most supportive human being in the world. Over the next couple of nights when i told the wife I was heading ‘out for a drive’, I was in fact quietly removing any expensive items of mine out of my home, over to my sister’s place for storage, my drone, some guitars, guitar amps, laptops, anything that my kid didn’t need to be present in the family home that I also didn’t need on a daily basis.
At this point i also had *NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER\* with jumping on tinder and, hey fuck it, just chatting to people. I’d spent years of my life at this point clinically under-sexed. If I got laid, great! But if I didn’t, it was just another way to measure how other people see single-me; like some kind of flirty research project. It was a win-win, and it was fun to pass the time chatting with random ladies whilst sat in my car at two in the morning, chain-vaping and drinking coffee from anywhere I could get it.
Interestingly, one or two young ladies that already kind-of knew me from various social circles jumped in once they saw my face on tinder. They obviously asked questions about what had been happening for me to end up with a dating profile, and I was honest about where I was at, at all times. To my surprise, they didn’t immediately rush off to cross-check this with my then-wife. In moments like that I had a weird conflicted feeling where I felt like I was the only motherfucker that gave a shit about my own marriage, an odd place to be.
Within the next week, all kinds of things started happening and life suddenly seemed to move fast.
It turned out, through all of these things happening, that in the space of a day I got to completely embarrass her over the sex toy / kid thing, inform her that I was divorcing her for unreasonable behaviour, and that I had a viewing for a place just down the road. While I didn’t have proof of any emotional affair or infidelity, if she’d have fought aginst my reasons for divorce, I’d have happily started rolling out the things I’d learned.
In any case, She didn’t fight any of it, somehow I’d managed to line all my ducks up and fire my guns at the right time, she got broadsided and just took my lead on it.
My first freelance job paid out. This was visual effects / compositing work on a small Hollywood feature. I’d somehow managed to work on this thing in the small hours of the morning with all this going on. The producer was one of the actresses in the movie, and as such has been in some other productions over the last decade, including some DC/arrowverse stuff. Let’s call her AV, and come back to her in a little while. It’s kinda funny, because in part, a superhero helped pay for my sneaky surprise divorce.
My sister also threw a wad of money my way in a transfer to also pay for the divorce and cover my ass. Both of these things put me in a strong position to fight. And I felt strong. After several days of being caught in the maelstrom, I was pushing in a direction like a fucking boss.
It only takes a few days to learn that Tinder can get pretty depressing, so many conversations just dry up right? I’d gone for a coffee here and there, chatted a bit, but nobody was sticking around, nobody really wanted to know more about me, apart from B. We would talk and talk and talk. And she was interesting, I kept finding myself asking about her life.
It turned out she was a friend of a friend, and I just wasn’t aware, we’d been in the same places before once or twice but I just hadn’t seen her, too busy appeasing my then-wife. I think I’d even pulled her two kids along in a blow-up boat one year when there were a whole bunch of us parents and kids down at the local paddling pool in the summer.
B didn’t know the ex, and the ex didn’t know B. Which was good, because they wouldn’t get on. To this day I’m still a bit scared about what would happen if B, my lil' sis, and my ex-wife were left in a room together.
B got me, and after a few days of chatting invited me over for a coffee and to watch some TV, she knew my situation and couldn’t understand how I could spend so much time in my car every night. I think to be honest she didn’t know how I was coping with any of what had been happening. We watched netflix, ate pizza, talked more. She’s a singer, she paints, she’s so beautiful.
A few days later we were fucking like absoloute monsters. She actually stopped me halfway through a pounding to tell me I was very good at it, which is genuinely a high point in my life. We had more sex in two days than I’d had in the last ten years.
We continued to do our thing, and a happy, happy thing it was. but I made sure that I was still at home for my boy, right where he would expect me to be. Christmas was coming.
Just when my life couldn’t get any more cringe-tastic...
Months ago, I had agreed to spend the Christmas holidays with her side of the family; one of those things that gets decided six months before, y’know? I couldn’t change the plan, my boy was so looking forward to it. I defy anyone to tell an Autistic 5 year old that Christmas isn’t happening the exact way they’ve been expecting it to happen for months. So that happened; a small road trip, a stay in a hotel room [i slept on one side of the room with my boy, the ex had the other side of the room].
We were there a few days, we spent the days at her brother’s house, the in-laws were there. The kids played, the adults talked. At my ex-wife’s behest, only a couple of her family members were aware of the impending divorce, and the others had no clue - she didn’t want to make them aware of it over Christmas - and hey, I wasn’t going to argue; that’s her family. It was the kind of cringe-worthy Christmas that would make an excellent sitcom - questions from older siblings about what plans we have as a couple over the next year… that kind of thing.
In the evenings I’d sit and have a few expensive drinks in the hotel bar. I might’ve looked lonely sat on my own but I felt the total opposite, compared to what my life had been like up to that point.
I felt bad that I’d be losing out on my father in law - one of the only people who knew we were separating. He was pretty upset, he even took it as far as following me to a cafe one morning to check up on me. He’s the very model of what happens when you get to 65 and have remained in a dead bedroom your whole life - he stubbornly tried to stick it out, and it just didn’t pay off. He’s still married, but his wife lives alone and sees someone else. He got where I was coming from, and whilst I’d never divulge exactly why I was divorcing, he agreed with my on-paper reasons. We’ve remained in contact over email ever since, he still sends me whiskey on my birthday, he’s the closest I’ve got to a dad these days.
With Christmas over, we headed home. I spent new years’ with B. We got smashed, mixed drinks irresponsibly and sang to 90’s music videos playing on YouTube on her TV. She knew a fair amount about what was going on with me, but at about 3am I imploded and cried for hours. She held me and I told her everything that had happened, and then she kept on holding me and just didn’t let go, really. So that’s where B and me really started.
January was a month of waiting; I’d have my new place at the end of the month. It was frosty, but I got through it. I didn’t want the hassle, or expenditure, or having a third party divide up all the assets i’d bought for the family home. I decided if it was a thing my kid used, it would stay in the property for his enjoyment, and by extension, the ex wife’s; on the condition that I wasn’t responsible for fixing anything unless it was for my son, and also that she wouldn’t just throw stuff out; if she was getting rid of anything I’d get first shot at it.
On the 31st of January I left that place with nothing but some clothes stuffed into bin bags, a busted laptop, and my guitar in the boot of my car, I drove for about a minute and a half to my new place.
Miraculously I had found the place I’m sitting in right now. Being close to my son is extremely important to me; I want him to be aware that I am close by if he needs me. As such I got a place that’s halfway along his walk to school in the mornings. Most mornings, if he sees I’m home he’ll shout up to me and I’ll say hi back, same after school. He stays here with me one school night every week and every other full weekend, where we have intense PS4 and switch gaming sessions, lego ninjago vs minecraft battles, and he helps me come up with cool ideas for special effects. This has become a sacred place for him and I’m so pleased that he’s managed to come through this so well, it means everything.
I’d been here for a month, at the end of February I was doing some music recording on my computer, and needed to find some lyrics for an old demo that I was re-recording; I knew I’d saved it in google drive, so i started hunting around. No dice, couldn’t find it.
Of course, It’s google, so i used the search function, i typed the song’s title - “T...H...ERA...PY…”
And it came up, great! Been years since i’ve actually checked some of this stuff out.
Wait, what’s that next to it…
“Whatsapp Chat with [[name redacted]].txt”
Last modified: 30 Nov 2019
So when ex-wife was calling her ex-boyfriend, and was explicitly asked by him to erase her messaging history with him, well, I guess she did... but not before uploading a copy of it to google drive. She doesn’t really use it much and it’s highly likely that she’s entirely unaware that it’s there still - she uploaded it to a *shared* folder between her and I, we used to use it to put pics of our boy to upload to his pre-school [kindergarten] learning log.
So of course copied it out and read it.
Then I legit threw up.
Whatever I thought I heard during that hour of confusion and heartbreak hiding in my own house in the dark, the previous December - in between the front door and the coats, and my kid’s shoes, and however bad i thought I should have felt for having heard any of it, was completely overwritten by a black and white document, where every message comes with a time and date stamp. She’d unwittingly tossed it all my way.
Some deeply unsettling stuff was in there; the worst part of it being that she’d covertly taken pictures of a young female work colleague to send to her ex to masturbate over, they were fantasising about what they’d both do with her, dark stuff, I’m sure you could imagine. Aside from that there was a whole lot of time-and-dated proof that in the weeks leading up to telling me she wanted to split, she was having epic finger-banging sessions over whatsapp with her ex, on more than one occasion [i could tell by the times of each message] while i was playing downstairs with my kid. In one of the messages she remarks to him that she’s so horny she can’t even walk properly. She says she told me that she has a bad back. I remember that day, it was my turn to do bath/bedtime with kiddo anyway but I made sure that i checked in on her and took her drinks and stuff into the evening.
I’ve never felt so used in my entire life. I never imagined that the person I took those vows so sincerely with, could hide so much of themselves away. I wasn’t perfect, I was downright lazy at times, afraid, and slow; but I was always there. I always cared and provided for my neat little family.
I courted briefly with the idea of turning it in as evidence of a planned kidnapping/rape; but I was so mixed up by it that by the time I’d started to come together again with some kind of plan, so much time had passed I wasn’t sure if i’d be in trouble for holding on to it for so long.
I keep it to this day as insurance. It’s the thermo-nuke that I rest my finger on, not wanting to press the button, but happy to do so if I have to.
We’ve never talked about it, it’s never come up, and she has no idea what I know.
I keep her at arm’s length, we only talk if it’s to do with my boy. She’s a great mum, but she was a shit human being. I spend as little time as possible ever being in that place, because the very act of entering the house takes me past the doorway where I hid. I don’t want my kid to know this stuff, so i need to find a way to let it go some day.
deadbedrooms, I come to you with glad tidings; your story might be like mine, or completely different, but if you’re stuck somewhere with a shitty person I promise you that you might only know less than half of it. But even if that's the case, there is life after.
If you’re unhappy, get the fuck out of there. I had to Shawshank the fuck out of mine... and if I can do it, you can too. On the way out I learned just how strong you can be when you need to be, I rediscovered what it’s like to hold hands with someone, it’s been a rebirth and whilst it sucked, I wouldn’t change any of it, because it got me to where I am today.
I’m still with B. She’s incredible. We’re spending Christmas together with all our kids. She has her own story, we’ve all been through the grinder a few times right? I love her to pieces, and I feel like a new family sprung up around me this year.
For the first time in a lifetime I am wanted.
For the first time in a lifetime I am loved.
It’s out there, go and get it.
submitted by tehbenneh to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2020.12.01 01:18 Grotesquette Episode 1, "Grotesquette's Ark" [POLL]

Season 6 has ended, and a new current reigning, u/StrawPedro has been crowned. However, the time has come for a new drag superstar. We've gathered the nine best queens from all over the internet! Who will show us the GRIP (Google, Reddit, Imgur, and Pinterest) we're looking for in Spoiled Drag Race's next Superstar? Chile, I can't wait to find out!

SDRDR Season 7

INT. Werk Room
🎶 Sweet but Psycho - Ava Max
u/TelevisionHeaven enters the werk room in her entrance look.
She turns to the camera and smirks. "It's Ava for you bitches!!!"
🦗 Silence fills the werk room 🦗
"As in... it’s over for you... get it, it’s a pun... anyway " TV gives up and settles by one of the werk room mirrors.
Talking Head: u/TelevisionHeaven, "My name is TelevisionHeaven but I can take you to hell, too... ;) You might know me as the queen who terrorized the spoiler sub with Ava Max spam for an entire week but I’m here to prove I’m more than just that!"
🎥 The camera cuts to her posing in her... Ava Max inspired entrance look. 🎥
Talking Head: u/TelevisionHeaven, "I would describe myself as irreverent, ironic and always iconic. I’m mostly known for my super ex beauty queen aesthetic and being emotionally unavailable when needed the most. I’d like to believe I’m a wild card, as I have MANY faces and aces up my sleeve... but I’d rather want the rest to think that I’m JUST pretty. I mean, it’s worked my entire life."
TV flips her maxi cut in the mirror and giggles.
🎶 Funky R&B music
u/Breszn enters the werk room in her entrance look.
"In a room full of 5’s... I’m 7 inches🥰🥰"
TV looks Breszn up and down. "Hm... Good to know!"
Talking Head: u/Breszn " Hey girls it’s me your masc4masc icon Bre🥰🥰🥰 I’m a little bit of this, a little bit of that and a WHOLE more than what you’ve seen before. Two inches to be exact."
Breszn walks over to TV who gets up to greet her. "You look gorgeous darling" Tv smiles as the two kiss each others cheeks.
"So like, what kind of drag do you do?" Tv inquires.
Bre smirks. "I'm a little bit classy, and a WHOLE lot of assy baby." She turns around, giving her ass a slap.
"That's cool." TV replies. "You know who else is a little bit assy? Ava Max. And Carly Rae Jepsen. Oh and-"
u/Breszn, Talking Head: "Girl.... Will this bitch ever shut up about these little whitey hoes?! I get it! You're on popheads!!!"
🎶 Wacky banjo music
u/soupcereal enters the werk room in her entrance look.
" I-I-I’m that Bisque, I-I’m that Bisque!"
TV and Bre both burst out laughing.
Talking Head: u/soupcereal, " Hi! My name is Soup. My expiration date is June 2021 and I’m the subreddits number ONE shitposting queen. My drag is stupid, pointless and upsetting. I’m planning to turn the heat up on this competition. And I’ll send a bitch home... to a nice warm meal."
"C'mon Campell's chicken noodle bitch!" Bre laughs as the two greet each other.
"So are you like... A comedy queen?" TV asks.
Soup shrugs. "I mean, considering the trajectory of my career the word 'tragedy' might be more appropriate."
Everybody laughs.
Talking Head: u/TelevisionHeaven, "Soup seems like a really funny bitch. But like... Will the judges get her? Personally, I hope not!"
🎶 Sailor Moon music
u/MissiClipse enters the werk room in her entrance look.
She strikes a fashion pose, a glamour pose, and then a weird pose. " I'm ✰Missi Clipse✰ and I'm here to eclipse ALL of you with my talent and beauty 💄 💅 "
Bre stares at her. "How the fuck did she manage to say an emoji out loud?"
Talking Head, u/MissiClipse " Hi!! I'm ✰Missi Clipse✰!! I just got here off of the galactic-express, straight from the sun! I'm the universe queen (but I haven't won Miss Universe lmao) and I'm here to outshine all of these other stars! I think the thing that I am best at is creating my own looks with the resources I have around me. I'm very resourceful!! I'm very excited to get to know each of the queens and I really hope we become good friends. I feel like people are gonna underestimate me because of my age, but I'm certainly ready to shock and surprise everyone! I wear a star on each of my looks! It is a metaphor for ME being a star! And metaphors are important ... ( jk I HATE Rachel Berry lmaoo ) "
Missi runs over to the other girls to greet them. "✰ I'm so excited to be here with you all! ✰" Missi giggles. "We're gonna have so much fun. And then we're gonna get to see each others runways, and we're gonna win challenges together, and we may even have a rumi-"
TV clears her throat. "So Missi, what type of queen are you? I'm guessing... A talkative one."
Missi rolls her eyes. "I'm mainly a look queen as you can see, but I can also do a lot of comedy."
TV giggles. "Looking forward to seeing those things from you."
Bre clutches the table. "Ooh, shade this early in the morning?!"
Talking Head: u/MissiClipse. "Already Miss TV is rubbing me the wrong way. And it's not just her ratty lopsided wig."
🎶 Defying Gravity - Adele Dazeem
u/missforadollar enters the werk room in her entrance look.
"The theater queen has arrived. My next role? Winner."
Talking Head: u/missforadollar, " I’m missforadollar or Dollar for short, though I’ll take a quarter if it’s all you’ve got. I’m a Broadway gal, so no offense taken if you call my looks costumes. I’m the oldest queen on the season and possibly of all time. So, hopefully, the references I like to incorporate in my runways and my jokes aren’t too dated - although at this point I think I’ve been “dated” enough. I’m excited to show everyone at home that I’m a triple threat: Singing, dancing and holding a big knife just out of frame during judging. Think the other queens are ready to meet their leading lady? Hello, Dollar! "
The other queens greet Dollar as she saunters over to the werk room tables.
"I love theater so much!" TV chirps. "One day I hope Ava Max's documentary plays in a theater near me!"
Missi scowls. "That's a DIFFERENT type of theater."
Dollar smiles. "Oh, it's all the same to me. Showbiz is showbiz! Jazz hands out for the boys!"
The other contestants stare at her in bewilderment.
Talking Head, u/MissiClipse "✰ I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but drag's evolved so much in past century. Is Dollar maybe over her head here? ✰"
🎶 Heavy metal music
u/King-Yogimar enters the werk room in her entrance look.
"Send hole."
TV wrinkles her nose. "Ew-uh!!!!"
Talking Head: u/King-Yogimar, "Hi! I’m King-Yogimar but everyone just calls me yogi. I’m a big ol queen from a lil ol redneck society and I’m here to show everyone that rednecks aren’t just racist! We’re glamorous too!"
The other girls get up and greet Yogi. "Bitch, I knew you'd be here!" Soup laughs as the two hug.
"Sorry for keeping you all waiting!" Yogi smiles with a wink and a flourish.
Talking Head: u/missforadollar, "Yogi is really well known in the drag scene for being a hooker. Blow jobs for 25 cents in the back alley. That's right, her price went up!"
🎶 Seductive burlesque music
u/Cremationbloc enters the werk room in her entrance look.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Cremation is here and I'm about to bust."
"Oop! The girls are horny!" Bre observes, fanning herself.
Talking Head: u/Cremationbloc, "Hellur, my name is Cremationbloc, I am skdkfhsn years old and I’m from the sunny city of zootopia 💕 My hobbies include stealing pictures from pinterest and money laundering! hehe💰💰 It may have taken me a while to get here (7 seasons) but I’m happy to be here by popular demand. I guess the one thing I’m worried about is letting all of my fans down (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) but that will motivate me to rise to the top even more! I love my Cremators ♛ #teamcre"
"So Cre, what are you known for back home?" Missi inquires.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Cre asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Like, are you known for anything in particular in your local scene?"
"Oh! Uh..... No." Cre replies, giggling awkwardly.
🦗 A profound silence fills the werk room 🦗
Talking Head: u/missforadollar, "Cre reminds me of a very good friend of mine back in high school. And yes, before you ask, she was special ed."
Cre turns around to show the detail on the back of her outfit, giggling and shaking her ass.
"Ugh, you're SO pretty girl." Yogi admires.
"And thank God for it!" Dollar replies, causing the other girls to laugh.
🎶 Exotic snake charmer music
u/JohnTheLesbian enters the werk room in her entrance look.
"Your middle eastern queen has arrived and she’s ready to bomb this competition."
The girls all look at each other nervously.
"Hold on chile, lemme look for the exits" Bre murmurs.
Talking Head: u/JohnTheLesbian, " Bonjour! I'm John, also know as the Lesbian. I am years of age and do enjoy the occasional fruity cocktail every now and then. I'm also very competitive and will sleep my way to the top if necessary so hmu if interested. Luv yall mwah"
"Oh, do I hear an accent?" Yogi inquires.
John nods. "Yeah, I'm aussie fish. The plane ride I had to take to get here was sooooo fucking long!"
"And who's fault was that?!" Dollar asks, causing John to laugh.
"Okay guys, let's NOT joke about that." Missi huffs.
"Yeah, Lady Gaga didn't sing about having to pop the 9/11 for this level of disrespect" TV adds.
Missi plants her face into the table.
Suddenly, two members of the pit crew walk out carrying a big blue furry box. The girls all gasp in fear.
Talking Head, u/CremationBloc, "Is this gonna be a Shangela moment?! I hope not, I never read Season 6!"
The box begins to shake, until all of a sudden, u/FreedomWillowtree pops out in her entrance look!!!
"The BEST thing in life is FREE!!!"
The girls all scream, cheering and clapping.
Talking Head, u/FreedonWillowtree, "My name is Freedom Willowtree. Formerly known as Freewill310. Last season I was first out, but, the only eliminated girl to not die, quit, or be disqualified. I am literally a Phoenix risen from the cursed ashes of season 6. These other girls on season 7 need to be worried. Last time I checked I’m the only bitch here who has shaken her blue ass and titties on this stage."
"I can't fucking believe this" Yogi laughs as she helps Free out of her box.
"I had a feeling this bitch would be back!" John smiles.
"You can't keep a good bitch down." Free smiles. "Just ask the Honduran police. To this day, I'm still at large."
🦗 The girls all stare at each other as a sense of imminent danger fills the werk room 🦗
Talking Head: u/TelevisionHeaven, "Free might dress like she's from the movie Avatar, but she's up against an Ava-tar now!!! I'll cut this bitch quicker than I cut the left side of my hair!"
Suddenly, u/AutoModerator walks in!!! The girls all cheer and holler as he walks down the stairs.
"Hello, hello, hello! And welcome to the seventh of edition of Spoiled Drag Race Drag Race!!! Now I looed all over reddit, and found all of you, because I saw something in you that I might be able to shape into my next superstar. And for that reason, we're going to be throwing you girls off the deep end, and into the flood!"
The girls all look at each other in confusion.
Talking Head: u/MissiClipse, "A flood?! Like, a water photoshoot! ✰ Omg! Wouldn't that be fun?! ✰"
Automod continues. "For the first time in drag history, you will be boarding Grotesquette's Ark! Just like the animals entered the ark two by two, each of you will be entering and lip syncing against one of your fellow contestants! Now this season we will be doing a split premiere. Those of you who win your lip syncs will be on the Winner's premiere. And those of you who don't win your lip syncs will be on the loser's premiere! So good luck, and don't fuck it up!!!"
The girls all look at each other in horror.
"What the fuck?!" TV gasps. "We have to lip sync already?! Um.... Is Sweet but Psycho an option?!
The girls all rush to put on their lip sync outfits and get ready for Grotesquette's Ark.
Missi and John start getting ready.
"I'm so nervous. I was expecting to have to design a look or write a verse or something, not already have to lip sync." Missi sighs.
"Yeah" John agrees. "It just goes to show that you never know what to expect on SDRDR, they're really keeping us on our toes."
Bre clears her throat. "Speaking of toes, Miss Dollar what possessed you to wear Nina West couture for your entrance look?"
The other girls laugh as Dollar rolls her eyes. "Actually, it's inspired by the pokemon Milotic, you know the game where you catch monsters?
"Miss thing I'm a diva. I don't sit around catching no monsters" Bre smirks.
"You sure? I've seen a couple of the guys you bring home" Dollar replies.
The other girls all gasp in shock, except TV who's fighting back tears as she realizes she forgot to pack her Maxi cut wig in a slightly darker shade of blonde.
Talking Head: u/missforadollar, "Right of the bat u/Breszn is really coming for me. But I know not to let her get in my head, and let my performance tonight do all the talking."
Suddenly the iCarly theme starts playing. The girls look to see u/Grotesquette on a large television screen.

"Oop. Time to go!" Soup puts her mascara wand down and gets up, following the other girls out of the room.
🎶 Redditgirl! Please just go for a walk! Spoiled Sub is making your brain rot!
u/Grotesquette struts the mainstage.
Grotesquette: Welcome to the mainstage of Spoiled Drag Race Drag Race Season 7! Our first judge is the winner of S3, u/KingKabs! Are you prepared for the flood?!
u/KingKabs: Oh honey, my basement floods every week!
Grotesquette: Our next judge is the winner of S4, u/sufjancaesar!
u/sufjancaesar: All these lip syncs are making me nervous! I'm getting war flashbacks from the Season 9 finale...
u/Grotesquette: I bet you are! And finally, the winner of S6, u/StrawPedro! How does it feel to be back?
u/StrawPedro: As someone who's never had to lip sync, who am I to judge these girls?!
u/Grotesquette: Teavana! Tonight on the mainstage, I challenged my queens to prepare lip sync performances to four gay anthems. Whoever wins the lip sync will move onto the Winner's Premiere, and whoever loses their lip sync will move onto the Loser's Premiere! Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines! And may the best woman... Win!
Grotesquette: First up...

u/Breszn vs u/CremationBloc!

Tonight you were asked to prepare performances to the song "When I Rule the World, by LIZ!" Good luck, and don't fuck it up!

u/Breszn's lip sync

u/CremationBloc's lip sync

Vote for the winner here!

Grotesquette: Next up...

u/FreedomWillowTree vs u/JohnTheLesbian!

Tonight you were asked to prepare performances to the song "Cherry, by Rina Sawayama!" Good luck, and don't fuck it up!

u/FreedomWillowTree's lip sync

u/JohnTheLesbian's lip sync

Vote for the winner here!

Grotesquette: Next up...

u/King-Yogimar vs u/missforadollar!

Tonight you were asked to prepare performances to the song "Prime, by Allie X!" Good luck, and don't fuck it up!

u/King-Yogimar's lip sync

u/missforadollar's lip sync

Vote for the winner here!

Grotesquette: Last but not least, we will be having a three way lip sync!

u/TelevisionHeaven vs u/SoupCereal vs u/MissiClipse!

Tonight you were asked to prepare performances to the song "Nice Out, by Kilo Kish!" Good luck, and don't fuck it up!

u/TelevisionHeaven's lip sync

u/soupcereal's lip sync

u/MissiClipse's lip sync

Vote for the winner here!


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2020.11.30 21:26 cherry5462 I (16f) don't want to live with my dad/step family anymore because my step-brother (16m) has been perving on me and I feel uncomfortable. I still don't know what to do/say.

OP: u/ThrowRA-Messiness
I wasn't sure whether to post my story/question here or at 'am-i the b-hole', I ended up going there but they said my problem was too big for that sub and to come here. So here I am. Okay uh, backstory I guess.
Uh I met "Mike" when we both started middle school. He's had a crush on me since I could remember and didn't try to hide it. It was a running joke with friends/classmates that he was 'in love' with me because he would constantly buy me snacks/drinks, pay for my lunch before I could, give me tons of gifts on Valentine's Day like stuffed animals and flowers, and generally take any chance he could to be close to me. He'd regularly ask me out at least once every week or so. It made me uncomfortable but I just kept politely telling him no, I wasn't interested in dating him or any other guys. (i found out that was because i'm a lesbian).
Well some time before I was 14 my dad told me he'd been seeing a nice lady for a while and they'd hit it off and were going to be getting married. This was pretty shocking (the marriage part, not the dating part. my dad's not super subtle) but I was happy for him, he'd been pretty down since he and mom separated when I was 10. I'd been living with both mom and dad 50/50 until my last years of elementary school when mom had to move for work. I got along better with dad so I stayed with him so I wouldn't have to move. I still see mom every summer tho.
So before I'd turned 14 dad's fiancé (Abby) moved into our house with her son. Her son MIKE. Dad said she had a kid my age but he'd never said it was Mike and now he and I were forced to live together. Mike was beyond happy that we lived together and took every chance to be around me constantly, the only place I'm safe from him is my bedroom because there's a lock. He constantly wanted to 'hang out as new step-siblings' but everything he wanted to do was date/couple stuff. Going to the movies, getting food alone, studying alone, etc. It was mentally exhausting being around him almost 24 hours a day. And whenever I'd refuse to sit by him, or 'hang out' with him, or play nice with him his mom would gripe to my dad that I was being argumentative and rude.
This led to my dad talking to me like the problem was with me. He'd tell me blended families were tough to navigate but me being difficult wasn't making things easier. He said if Mike was willing to try to build a bond then I should be too. Then I'd be forced to sit by Mike while we watched movies together as a 'family' and it made me feel crazy.
Well not too much later I happened to catch Mike talking on mic with his online game friends and he was talking about me and how we were both 'basically dating' and it made me so mad. I stormed into his room and yelled at him that we weren't dating and he was creepy to keep trying to date me after I told him no 100 times on top of us being step-siblings now. I thought he'd muted his mic but I was wrong because his friends all started laughing at him and one called him sick and he yelled at me to get out. I did and things got easier after that. He'd stopped hanging off me all the time and left me alone. Things were easier, nicer at home and I was happy.
But then some time after I turned 14 and our parents were married those gross "what are you doing step-bro" memes got really popular (i guess) and Mike found them and all his creepy behavior came back but worse. He sent me some messages of the 'memes' and said they were 'lol so funny' and wouldn't stop bringing them up. He refused to call me anything besides 'step-sis' and told me to only call him 'step-bro', he wouldn't respond to anything else. Living with him became unbearable. He'd be creepily flirty and say gross suggestive stuff to me when our parents weren't home. He'd also put stuff on high shelves so I would have to stretch to reach, or put stuff of mine in weird places like inside the dryewashing machine or similar places. I felt like I was living in hell.
Then we were all stuck at home together (u kno why) and it wasn't so bad. He's not overly gross or obnoxious when dad or Abby are around so it was a temporary peace. But then dad had to go back to work when stuff sorta chilled out and Abby was still working from home but she was in her office all day so I may as well have been alone with Mike all the time. I've been locking myself in my bedroom all day since that's the only time I get to not deal with Mike.
At the start of this year I began dating my gf Kat and I eventually told her about Mike, all the weird shit he does, his creepy behavior, the 'step-bro' meme, everything (she knew about him being into me from school) and she said I should ask reddit and then I went to that other sub but now I'm here.
I wanna go live with my aunt (she said I could stay with her but I haven't told her why exactly I want to leave yet) and I know I need to tell her WHY I'm so desperate to leave home but it's so EMBARRASSING. I don't think I can just come out and say my step brother is perving on me, has been for like 2 years by now. How do you talk to an adult about weird porno references, step-sibling fetishes, harassment, etc???
But I have to tell her. And I'm hoping once she knows she can help me tell dad and Abby. I'm dreading telling my aunt. There's no way I'd be able to talk to my dad or Abby alone about this crap. I'm just not sure how to BEGIN.
Anyone got any solid advice? I'm stuck and uncomfortable and don't know how to take the next step.
Hey everyone! Been a while since I made my post and I followed the different advice from a lot of users on this sub, am-i-the-bhole, and fem-dating-strat and it caused a LOT of drama at home but now I'm finally able to breath and can tell everyone what happened. It's a lot but I'll try to make it sound clear and not as batshit as it felt going thru it. <3
Kay so, first things first I'll give a quick list of what happened. And give details after if anyone is interested. So...
  1. I downloaded a recording app onto my phone because people said getting recordings of Mike saying the gross stuff he says to me when we're alone was super important. Having solid proof was big because without it Mike could say I was lying. So I did and always kept my phone on me and recording when I left my room for food/drinks since that was the only time I was by myself with him.
  2. People suggested I start getting evidence about his long term behavior towards me. I talked to friends and people I've known since middle school and asked them to write down what they remembered of Mike and how he acted towards me. Most of it was how he'd follow me around all the time, buy/give me stuff all the time, ask me out weekly, and more. I printed them out and kept them in a folder under my mattress.
  3. Two days after downloading recording app I got a full argument between him and I on tape where he says a lot of nasty stuff to me. Including making gross comments about me being bent over, him calling me 'step-sis' in that pervy way and laughing at me after I told him to stop. Saying he knows I 'loved it' and I should be grateful anyone was paying me any attention and calling me a cunt, stupid, a bitch, and more after I told him I was in a relationship. This was before Abby came in and broke it up. I'm glad she showed up cuz he was getting too close and being aggressive after I said I was dating somebody.
  4. Told dad I wanted to hang out and have a 'girls weekend' with my Aunt and he agreed but I feel like he just wanted some peace and quiet but I got to go so whatever. I made sure to pack all my evidence and anything I'd need for a week or more since idk when I'd go home after I told my mom and Aunt. (did this trick with a rubber door stopper and a bent hanger to keep my door stuck closed after I was gone) Got to Aunt's place and asked her if I could talk to her and my mom on Zoom about something really important. She looked worried and said sure.
  5. Got mom on a Zoom call and sat down with Aunt (her gf went out shopping to give us some privacy which was cool). I told them everything about me and Mike, from all the way back when we were still in middle school. The gifts, the following, the asking me out, everything. My mom looked horrified and asked why I never told her or an adult. I said I told a teacher but she said Mike just had a little crush and said for me not to hurt his feelings too much so I just kept telling him no as nice as I could.
  6. Mom and Aunt were very mad, even before I showed them the stuff people I went to school with/am still friends with wrote about him. But when I sent mom the recording and let my Aunt listen to the one on my phone Mom wanted to call the cops. Aunt told her they needed to talk to my dad and his wife first cuz there's obviously something wrong with Mike mentally and they need to know before he attacks some other girl. Mom wasn't happy but agreed but said I'm not going back to dad's house after this. Not for a long long time. I was glad tbh.
  7. Mom called dad the next day and told him they (her, him, and abby) needed to talk about me and Mike and it was important. Dad said he felt the same (which was weird) and Aunt invited them over to her place since I was already here. They all showed up the next day and mom was on Zoom and said we needed to talk about the inappropriate behavior going on and Abby cut in and said 'yes it's time we all acknowledge the elephant in the room, OP's piss poor behavior'. And she went on to talk about how I was intentionally making cutting remarks towards her son, how I was being cruel and treating him like a stranger despite us living together for 'so many years', and how he came to her practically in tears because I told him he was worthless.
  8. My mom lit into Abby, told her she didn't know if she was just 'naturally this stupid and blind or if u had to work at it', and then told her that her son was the one being inappropriate and then asked my Aunt to read out all the testimonies from our classmates over the years. Aunt did and each letter made Abby more mad and dad look more disturbed. Mike looked like he was trying not to freak out. Abby dismissed all the letters by saying I'd bribed all my friends to say that stuff. That is when things went absolutely apeshit. Aunt explained to them what the 'step-bro' meme was and where it came from... how it was from r*pe porn..
  9. Then my Aunt played the recording I got of me and Mike the day before... Abby looked like someone killed her cat right in front of her and Mike looked like he lost all the blood in his face. Dad looked mad and also sick. After that it was a lot of screaming, mostly from dad and Abby. Abby, to her small credit, slapped Mike so hard he fell off the couch. I didn't expect that tbh, cuz she's never ever hit Mike or anyone ever that I've known her. I expected her to play it off like he'd been joking but she really smacked him right out of his seat. Mike was crying and saying stuff nobody could understand and Abby was just verbally shredding him like old TP.
  10. Dad said he was sorry to me, which I said was nice but I can't forgive him yet. I told him he made me feel crazy, like what Mike was doing wasn't a real problem or like it wasn't happening and I told him living with Mike, with him being this way towards me for years, made me hate his house. I didn't feel safe there anymore, I probably won't ever again. I cried and my mom said I'm not going back to his house for the foreseeable future and dad cried.
  11. My Aunt and dad helped me move all my stuff out of my old room and into the guest room in my Aunt's place. Her gf is cool with me staying however long. Mom and my Aunt got me into online therapy and I've only had one session so far but I'm hoping it'll help. Mom says it will so fingers crossed.
  12. I haven't heard what happened to Mike besides the fact that he's in a lot of trouble and they're putting him in therapy to deal with whatever the hell he's got going on. I will never forget Abby yelling that she did not raise some sick sexual deviant and he'd get help or else. We called the cops and filed a report but they said we won't press charges if he gets help but there's gonna be a paper trail in case the therapy doesn't work (idk how that police stuff works but thats what mom said from what i understood).
That's about it so far. I'm staying with my Aunt and her gf, I'm not stuck in my room all day! Which is awesome! I've started doing yoga with my Aunt's gf, which is harder than it looks. Idk how long I'll stay with my Aunt, mom wants me to stay with her but I said I don't wanna leave here yet since I'd have to leave all my friends and gf (mom knows i'm gay) so mom said I can stay with my Aunt for now. Not sure what's gonna happen next but so far things are better than before so I'm staying positive!
Thanks everyone who helped me with advice and gave me the pep talks to have the weird convos with my folks. Love u guys! <3
submitted by cherry5462 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

2020.11.30 02:40 musicismylife4 Gay Dating Shows

Hey! I have put together a website that has a bunch of dating episodes of gay or lesbian people on MTV shows. If you know of others, let me know and I'll add them.
submitted by musicismylife4 to lgbt [link] [comments]

2020.11.30 00:11 Big_Bones41 23 [M4F] Pennsylvania/East Coast- I had my friends write reviews of me for a dating reddit?!?! (Not Clickbate) <------- Me
That's right, you read the title correctly! I had a bunch of my friends write review of me and I'm going to post them here completely unfiltered from what they typed when I forced them all to do this.
A couple things about me before I unload them all:
-Big fan of animation as a whole, I watch cartoons and anime out the ass
-Usually do well with a more dominant partner, but I've gone both ways
ALRIGHT, enough foreplay, let's get to these reviews, enjoy!
"hes a super chill dude who knows how to have a good time. Hes funny and nice but dont cross him or else he will main tank your ass. If you like pokemon youll get along even better just watch out for his duggy, he has a good taste in shows to watch and can reccomend good ones. If your ready for all this greatness proceed if not get the fuck away." -Natsue (I play competative pokemon with him, for context)
"Ladies this is a message to you about a hot, sexy voiced stud in your area, he puts the d in "respecting you", you may say there's no d in that, well not yet. He's got an amazing cute personality, a lovely smile, is funny, interesting and cool hobbies and from what I'm told he's packing heat down below. You may be thinking why haven't I met him yet, well that can be instantly changed if you just match up, I swear to god use your brains he's absolutely wonderful and he's super good at smite. Don't mess up and give it a try, I guarantee you won't be disappointed." - Amy
"Loves pegging,
Also use this definition of Garrett from urban dictionary: Garrett is the probably the most kindest guy you will ever meet, but he could be a pain in the ass. He has a great sense of humor, and is very fun to be around. Garrett is also very creative, and can be dirty minded some times. Garrett is a great friend and boyfriend he is there for you no matter what. He makes you smile even if you don't want to. He has a great personality and he smile all the time. Garrett is probably the best boyfriend ever. If you are his girlfriend you are very lucky because Garrett will be there for you no matter what, and if you are his one true love he will stick with you no matter how tempting these other girls might be. Garrett has the greatest smile ever, and has the most beautiful baby blue eyes. Garrett is probably one of the best friend and boyfriend anyone could ask for. Garrett is the most kindest person you could ever meet, but he could be a pain in the ass some time"- Haru
"He fucks turtles so he prolly has a big cock"- Taz
"Affordable prices, great late night shows. Too much arrogance. 3/5 star" -Ezra (My best friend)
"If you look up Chad in the dictionary... picture of Garrett. If you look up Stud in the dictionary... picture of Garrett. If you look up Sex Icon in the dictionary, yup, you guessed it, picture of Garrett. Lookin for someone who screams BDE? Hit up Garrett. Wondering what BDE stands for? Spend a night with him to find out. Want to get with the best Smite player in Minion Hunters? Well, Ezra is busy atm, but you know who his best friend is??? GARRETT!!!! Ladies, this is a no-brainer... you would need to be Hellen Keller to not see this absolute stud for who he is" -Luke
"Good taste, tastes good"- Hannagh
"Garrett can be the most genuine, kind guy you meet or the biggest asshole in the world. Usually the second one cause he's toxic. He is hilarious and talented. Loyal and intelligent. Great taste in all forms of entertainment, but acts condescending about it. He has adorable crazy hair and gay eyes that see right through people's clothes. Very toxic. Did I mention toxic? Comes off nerdy but still manages to get all the pussy, internet or irl doesn't matter. Caution: you may fall in love. This would be very unfortunate because you could ruin the best friendship of your life. Note: you will often find Garrett around Ezra, that's his side hoe. He strongly dislikes the taking fire giant before gold fury. Lend him your energy, he needs to recharge his Dragon Balls to slay you ladies with his Power Pole" - Azure
"As long as he agrees that pee is stored in the balls then hes a good man" -Sterling
"4/10 tries to actually talk to you... disgusting Still haven't gotten an unsolicited dick pic so what's even the point Only reason he has 4 points is he makes enough bank to rent a Christian Minecraft server" - Hazel
submitted by Big_Bones41 to r4r [link] [comments]

2020.11.30 00:09 Big_Bones41 23 [M4F] Pennsylvania/East Coast- I had my friends write reviews of me to put on a dating reddit?!?! (Not Clickbate) <------- Me
That's right, you read the title correctly! I had a bunch of my friends write review of me and I'm going to post them here completely unfiltered from what they typed when I forced them all to do this.
A couple things about me before I unload them all:
-Big fan of animation as a whole, I watch cartoons and anime out the ass
-Usually do well with a more dominant partner, but I've gone both ways
ALRIGHT, enough foreplay, let's get to these reviews, enjoy!
"hes a super chill dude who knows how to have a good time. Hes funny and nice but dont cross him or else he will main tank your ass. If you like pokemon youll get along even better just watch out for his duggy, he has a good taste in shows to watch and can reccomend good ones. If your ready for all this greatness proceed if not get the fuck away." -Natsue (I play competative pokemon with him, for context)
"Ladies this is a message to you about a hot, sexy voiced stud in your area, he puts the d in "respecting you", you may say there's no d in that, well not yet. He's got an amazing cute personality, a lovely smile, is funny, interesting and cool hobbies and from what I'm told he's packing heat down below. You may be thinking why haven't I met him yet, well that can be instantly changed if you just match up, I swear to god use your brains he's absolutely wonderful and he's super good at smite. Don't mess up and give it a try, I guarantee you won't be disappointed." - Amy
"Loves pegging,
Also use this definition of Garrett from urban dictionary: Garrett is the probably the most kindest guy you will ever meet, but he could be a pain in the ass. He has a great sense of humor, and is very fun to be around. Garrett is also very creative, and can be dirty minded some times. Garrett is a great friend and boyfriend he is there for you no matter what. He makes you smile even if you don't want to. He has a great personality and he smile all the time. Garrett is probably the best boyfriend ever. If you are his girlfriend you are very lucky because Garrett will be there for you no matter what, and if you are his one true love he will stick with you no matter how tempting these other girls might be. Garrett has the greatest smile ever, and has the most beautiful baby blue eyes. Garrett is probably one of the best friend and boyfriend anyone could ask for. Garrett is the most kindest person you could ever meet, but he could be a pain in the ass some time"- Haru
"He fucks turtles so he prolly has a big cock"- Taz
"Affordable prices, great late night shows. Too much arrogance. 3/5 star" -Ezra (My best friend)
"If you look up Chad in the dictionary... picture of Garrett. If you look up Stud in the dictionary... picture of Garrett. If you look up Sex Icon in the dictionary, yup, you guessed it, picture of Garrett. Lookin for someone who screams BDE? Hit up Garrett. Wondering what BDE stands for? Spend a night with him to find out. Want to get with the best Smite player in Minion Hunters? Well, Ezra is busy atm, but you know who his best friend is??? GARRETT!!!! Ladies, this is a no-brainer... you would need to be Hellen Keller to not see this absolute stud for who he is" -Luke
"Good taste, tastes good"- Hannagh
"Garrett can be the most genuine, kind guy you meet or the biggest asshole in the world. Usually the second one cause he's toxic. He is hilarious and talented. Loyal and intelligent. Great taste in all forms of entertainment, but acts condescending about it. He has adorable crazy hair and gay eyes that see right through people's clothes. Very toxic. Did I mention toxic? Comes off nerdy but still manages to get all the pussy, internet or irl doesn't matter. Caution: you may fall in love. This would be very unfortunate because you could ruin the best friendship of your life. Note: you will often find Garrett around Ezra, that's his side hoe. He strongly dislikes the taking fire giant before gold fury. Lend him your energy, he needs to recharge his Dragon Balls to slay you ladies with his Power Pole" - Azure
"As long as he agrees that pee is stored in the balls then hes a good man" -Sterling
"4/10 tries to actually talk to you... disgusting Still haven't gotten an unsolicited dick pic so what's even the point Only reason he has 4 points is he makes enough bank to rent a Christian Minecraft server" - Hazel
submitted by Big_Bones41 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 19:09 rightwingnews /u/Mr_82 on Is it just me or have newer generations been seeming to be at least in men less and less “masculine”?

I'd argue women are even _more_responsible for hook-up culture, and somewhat (didn't focus so much on "proving," to the extent that you could actually write a proof people would accept about these matters anyway, that particular statement though) argued this in a nearby comment.
It's certainly right to say that each gender's behavior influences the other, often in a way that causes a positive feedback cycle, which, in terms of its net effects on the moral fabric of our society, is indeed only "positive" in the sense that a person would be HIV positive. There I focused more upon how when women act wrongly, this causes men to also act wrongly, but of course ac similar causality also flows in the opposite direction.
The way the "sex positive" movement has promoted women to sleep around and treat men as "disposable" indeed is a major reason that men today are now less masculine overall or on average. Men simply know (perhaps consciously, perhaps subconsciously) that being a traditional, morally righteous, masculine male isn't rewarded by women anymore; they could prove themselves to a woman only for her to move on as soon as she finds another man who will give her short-term satisfaction. So why even put in the effort?
(Why Redditors tend to say "motivation is a complicated thing" is itself very telling. Motivation is actually extremely simple: you'll be motivated to do something if eitheor 1) you'll be rewarded for doing it-this is generally the best kind of motivating factor, if it can still be effective of course, and indeed this is why people tell you not to hit your dog, but instead use positive reinforcement; or 2) you'll be punished for not doing that thing, this being negative reinforcement; rationally speaking, such motivating factors are actually more likely to produce results, ie having more breadth of application-even when going to work isn't fun, because you don't get recognized and rewarded for what good work you do, you'll still go because you need money if you don't want to become homeless-but they're also less desirable because they use fear, and don't instill much morally, or don't lend themselves towards learning and behaving with good morals.) This also pits men against each other in an unhealthy way.
Simply put, it's obvious men are not being motivated properly by society. This explains why they tend to be less masculine-why wake up and do hard manual labor or work out at the gym when doing so isn't rewarded in dating as it once was? Why put forth the effort in being chivalrous toward women when they (and other men trying to put you down in order to appear relatively elevated themselves, basically being bullies) criticize you as a "white knight" or "nice guy?" Also, note how there's essentially 0 discussion about toxic feminity, but men are criticized for purported toxic masculinity nearly constantly, no matter what they do. The message this sends to many men is that, since they're being called "toxic" no matter what they do, perhaps to avoid this punishment, they should strip themselves of their masculinity. (And it's absolutely unjustifiable that every time someone criticizes the narratives involving "toxic masculinity," the left just says "toxic feminity exists too though!" But when is it ever criticized in their narrative? Never. They wouldn't dare criticize anything about women or feminity, because the left doesn't want to be honest and risk alienating the women whose votes and support they wish to maintain for political purposes.)
Obviously there's a lot of healing our society needs to do, but the current problem is that large portions of our society-namely, leftists-don't even want to admit there's a problem. Partly because many of those leftists get short-term benefits, due to their identify political statuses-this applies to many women, for instance. It's easier for people to follow the path of least resistance, and so that's what they do. They can still have sex, but will still complain about how they aren't having satisfactory long-term relationships; plus leftism tells them that not only is there no problem with engaging in what are bad behaviors; it even tells them that behaviors aren't just not bad, but are actually good! Nearly any time you hear the term "empowering" applied to women's activities, this is what's occurring there.
Edit: as a side note, did none of the leftists why read or watched Fight Club consider what the author was trying to communicate with the character Marla? Did they really think the author meant to depict her vulgarity positively? (The author's a gay man, by the way.)
from Mr_82 on Is it just me or have newer generations been seeming to be at least in men less and less “masculine”?
submitted by rightwingnews to DebateRightists [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 17:09 rightwingnews /u/Mr_82 on Is it just me or have newer generations been seeming to be at least in men less and less “masculine”?

Great time to quote Fight Club too. Funny though how leftists will just say "it's satire," ignoring how much of it was in fact meant earnestly and unironically.
Regarding dating trends, I think we need to start placing a good deal of blame with the women and not just the men. And let's face it, women have always been the predominant trend-setters in dating habits. We don't have intricate nomenclature to describe problematic women in dating, but we have "incel," "nice guy," "simp," "redpiller," etc. Women never needed a red pill organization because that kind of manipulation has always been fully integrated in their dating habits and strategies, right out in the open-just look at how marriage and divorce are set up to benefit women at men's expenses. Men have always been the ones eager to be judged kindly and not harshly by women during dating, and never viz a viz.
In other words, women are the sexual selectors who have always controlled the way dating trends go. Yes, even in the 50s, when men more predominantly controlled things like the state, economic industries, etc, but women ultimately dictated how family life-which is really most of your life overall anyway-was conducted. In the past, there was an honest division of labor and power between the genders, but this evidently is no longer the case.
If I had to describe the one main thing ruining modern dating, it's this: women no longer uphold standards of purity, chastity, or virtue in themselves, or engage loyally with men. Eg I saw a post on a dating subreddit the other day from a guy asking if this girl whom he'd already just made out with was interested in him; seeing this sparked a sudden epiphany in me, as there should be no doubt about whether you're interested in them if you're making out with them! Making out used to mean something! (Men don't really say this, because well no one wants to hear men's feelings and they think, righteously, they'll be labeled "weak" fit complaining, but I'm sure this guy's feelings were majorly hurt.) This used to be the main thing women would provide for men: women would pledge loyalty to the man, and be a nurturing presence for both the children and the man, while the man in exchange would provide for the household financially. There's a major unbalance here in modern society, where women still expect that providence from the men they date, but generally don't uphold their end of the exchange. And indeed any man who criticizes this just gets called a "misogynist." Women know this is not right, but they're increasingly more and more virtueless, so why would they care?
But what else are we left to say when large portions of modern women now call themselves "sluts" unironically and with pride?
Edit: to bring this full circle to men being less masculine today, as I said, women are the gatekeepers of sex, and sexual and dating selectors who almost solely determine dating/sex norms. When women demonstrate they aren't willing to be loyal to men they would date, men naturally become less interested in trying to impress women: those women don't value them, so their feelings are hurt, and obviously they shouldn't be so eager to please women either. (Btw, this led to hookup culture also; women, if you're wondering why men just seem to want sex, look at your own actions here. They know that's mostly what you're good for, because you're not loyal or willing to be monogamous or virtuous. So they in turn see you as just being good for sex or hookups. Again though, notice how you started this trend with the absurd slut pride movements.) Obviously you can see how this leads to men being less masculine.
Final note: one theory I have on homosexuality is that it's a response some men take when they really reflect on how women have manipulated them, and how they rarely uphold their end of the deal with virtue or loyalty. Why else would gay men so flagrantly flaunt how much gay sex they have in their hookup culture? Note that Chuck Pahlaniuk, author of Fight Club, is himself gay!
from Mr_82 on Is it just me or have newer generations been seeming to be at least in men less and less “masculine”?
submitted by rightwingnews to DebateRightists [link] [comments]

2020.11.29 05:24 NeiSiu 29 [M4M] Anywhere - Final attempt on dating

TL;DR - Non-Binary Asian looking for love
I've had the worst luck on the local dating scene because of my hobbies, interests and appearance. I'm a 172 cm tall IT professional. I'm a gamer, I love RPGs (Currently riding the high of Genshin Impact) and any games based on mythology, because I'm a mythology nerd like that. I also love horror. My most played multiplayer game is Left 4 dead 2 and Phasmophobia. I also love cooking and baking. I'm very domesticated and an aspiring waifu. My workout rourine is usually cardio, light weights and yoga, due to covid restrictions, so, no body goals to be achieved there. I also love doodling. I've dabbled with more elaborate art set ups as well. My favorite medium is make up and the canvass is my face. Yes, I'm a drag queen. Only on instagram though. I dont have a huge following or anything, i mostly just do it coz it makes me happy. (This is where everything goes to shit. Ain't nobody want to date a faggy gay boy who puts on make up and dresses for fun). Also I think the location puts people off. I currently live and work in the Philippines and I don't have any immediate opportunities to go to other countries because of covid. Just because I live in a third world country, that automatically tskes me off their list. I mean, I get it. They want people who is closer and whatnot. So, this post is my hail mary to whatever supreme being is out there. Since reddit is international and has a wide reach, I'm hoping for the best, but am expecting nothing. I've tried posting on r4r but took it down when i just got downvoted, so hopefully here, since its the undatables' dating place, I'd finally find someone who's not a racist, a bigot, or a toxic masc internalized homophobe.
If you made it this far, thank you for your patience. My ideal guy is someone tall, hairy, responsible and takes care of himself. I may be an aspiring waifu, but I am not willing to become your parent/nurse/maid. Then again, ideals get broken when the REAL DEAL comes along. I've known many people in long lasting relationships who had the opposite of their ideal their partner, yet had fallen deeply and madly in love with each other. I want that. I want that so bad.
Congratulations for reaching the end without cringing. May your food be plenty and may life be full of happiness.
P.s. in the spirit of worst foot forward, this is a post workout selfie. If you see this and are not turned off, you better message me.
submitted by NeiSiu to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2020.11.28 05:33 ChaosUndivide Dash & Lily stars hapa actors (Both Japanese father) playing siblings. The brother is gay while the sister is with WM in the show.

Here another Netflix bullshit propaganda again just like that pedo movie they made and are pulling the same thing in their new series. The actors play biracial with a white father in the show. Brother happens to be the gay one while the sister is dating a white guy which is obvious in the show's poster. This is clearly another example of propping up WM as the idea love interest in disguise of diversity. Since all IR relationship is based off of love according to them it cannot be criticized.

Great! Another attempt make the POC male look like less of a threat by making him gay and fitting the diversity quotas. How many times have netflix and these so called progressive shows have done this? If we call this out it would mean be accused of being homophobic. Going expect more anti AM and toxic asian culture being mention for progressive Netflix.
It's also not produced or written by mix race people but white hipster it seems.
The article talks about LBGT representation but considering its all one sided. Don;t know how this is some amazing step up we are seeing in representation.
submitted by ChaosUndivide to hapas [link] [comments]

2020.11.28 03:00 AutoModerator Happy Cakeday, r/RoyaleHighCringe! Today you're 1

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.
Your top 10 posts:
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2020.11.27 17:59 Orual309 Hot take: Mark Lowry and Bill Gaither, gay as David and Jonathan.
Before I continue to argue what is going to blow your mind, I want to make a request. If I convince you in this post, don’t talk about it to Christian boomers. Lowry and Gaither were incredibly influential, and passionate about their calling, which was Christian entertainment. Their bread and butter came from being liked, on stage, by a gigantic Christian audience. And the crowd you see at a Bill Gaither vocal band show is not exactly the crowd you’d see at a Pride parade. I’m not out to destroy any careers or lives today, especially from the vulnerable population of famous gay Christian. Because while Gaither and Lowry reach an unarguably conservative crowd, they aren’t Jerry Fallwells or James Dobsons or Pat Robertsons. They just love the Lord, love the limelight, and love dick. So for now, let’s just let this be our little secret.
Okay, on to the fun part.
*flips over cork board filled with index cards and red string*
Exhibit A:
While Mark Lowry is most well known for his comedy, he also sang and toured with Bill Gaither in the Gaither Vocal Band. He waxes on about that experience in his 1995 comedy VHS, “Remotely Controlled” (in which Gaither also appears briefly). I watched that video as a kid, and looking back on it 15 years later, some things started clicking about that bit. Like how star-struck Lowry was to be with Gaither, but also how he seemed to know human things about him that made the bit so endearing. Human...intimate things. Like Bill and Gloria’s relationship, and the fact that they...slept in different beds?
Oh damn, I forgot about this part. Lowry and Gaither spent a lot of time together, as a youtube search will confirm. They didn’t just do a single tour...they shared much of their career. Like Elton John and John Reid, but without the abuse. And what do closets need in conservative culture? They need to be covered in Bible verses and overly-wholesome content. Like the Ricky-and-Lucy line he throws out there. It’s at this point where I asked myself, how well does Gloria Gaither fit the bill as a beard?
Exhibit B:
*cue sound effect of cars crashing*
So. Bill Gaither, asked Mark Lowry, to sleep in the other bed next to him, in the private room. And Lowry felt completely comfortable joking about the way Gaither sleeps.
I don’t know what it’s like to be famous, but I know that it’s an unforgiving terrain. Many songs and stories about fame describe it to be an alienating experience. You create something for the masses, but they still don’t know you. Amplify that by a million if you’re in a conservative world, where reality is blurred and branded with pictures of Arian Jesus.
I don’t envy the struggle of a conservative comedian, who must ask: Which of life’s humors are true enough to love, but innocuous enough to not raise any eyebrows? It has to be a little bit of the truth, and a little bit of a lie. If you want to let everybody in on something, you can’t tell the whole truth. But you can pick which part of it is the most important to you. And the snore joke is what he wanted us to know. Which to me, is the most wholesomely gay thing a Christian could say.
He put work into that joke. He built up to it like Louis CK talking about the N-Word. He had to emphasize in 2 separate jokes, that they were 2 separate beds. To show “No worries! I’m so not gay. But I have to tell you about what this guy sounds like when he sleeps.”
You can’t honestly hear this last joke...this final, handcrafted, tear-in-a-glass joke...and say that this man is straight: (rainbow punch at 32:03, you’ll have to endure an ad in the middle)
Basically, I rest my case. But if you want a few more clips to make your eyes narrow…
Exhibit C:
Remember in his “Hyperactivity” video, the way he changed costumes as often as Katy Perry? Remember this one?
Exhibit D:
That overly-hateful pastor bit, about how it’s a shame for men to have long hair?
Maybe some messages hidden in the layers there?
Exhibit E:
When asked flat out if he was gay, Lowry responded by alluding to Paul, the most closeted, self-hating gay in the Bible.
No, I never did get married. You’ve got to learn to live with the cards you’re dealt. Apostle Paul was right: there’s something positive about staying single.”
Exhibit F:
Here he is, desperately trying to show the world that he is capable of kissing a woman. If Chonda is edited out of the photo, it appears that someone is trying to force-feed him steamed broccoli, and saying, “smile for the camera!”
Exhibit G:
Many years later, with Lowry a bit frostier on top, they’re all hanging out in a kitchen, doing a video together.
Now, I don’t know who’s kitchen it is, but I do know that three old people are hanging out in it, and these are the same three people who have been hanging out since the 90s. There’s clear love and support in this family. It almost seems like they’ve grown old together. And just like my parents, they’re trying to figure out if the video they’re recording, is working.
PS, if you go back in the video, you’ll see Lowry hugging Gloria in a really “you’re-my-best-friend” kinda way, and talking about how much he loves her and Bill.
Exhibit H:
Gaither’s new vocal band.
I think this picture speaks for itself.
submitted by Orual309 to exchristian [link] [comments]

2020.11.27 07:32 timecubefanfiction Conversations with Level 3 Intelligent Characters

If you’re anything like me, when you read something with particularly vivid characters, their voices stick around with you for days or weeks after you finish the book. After finishing HPMOR, for example, I had a cynical professor following me around everywhere going, Ah, perhaps you only pretend to care about brushing your teeth. Tell me, have you actually investigated whether Colgate Whitening Plus with Fruity Mint Flavor is truly the ideal toothpaste, or do you only use it because it is expected of you?
Similarly, I live with a grumpy yet remarkably insightful policeman every time I finish a Vimes book. Revisiting Huckleberry Finn gives me the company of a boy lacking book smarts but with a remarkable ability to see the moral truth right in front of his nose (and very good tips about fishing and good living). 19th century romance novels tend to give me matronly women evaluating potential romantic partners for me on the basis of their economic and social suitability. (This last one is surprisingly useful.)
I just finished reading Strong Female Protagonist, the superhero webcomic our society needs but definitely doesn’t deserve, and as a consequence there’s a blonde invincible chick in my head who wants to know whether writing stupid things for the Internet is really the best way for me to spend my time.
It’s great. Go read the first three chapters because I’m about to spoil them, and it’s great so you should just read it first.
Seriously, go read it. Reddit will still be here when you get back. I promise—NAY, I PRECOMMIT—to upvote your comment if you take a month to reply because you were reading the first three chapters.
Strong Female Protagonist, or SFP from here on, becomes full-blown rationalist fiction in chapter three, and I’m going to spend half of this essay just gushing about it.
Chapter three sees our main character and Super(wo)man stand-in, Alison Green, on a road trip with her mind-reading Lex Luthor of a boyfriend, Patrick, to visit an old friend of hers. On the way, Alison and Patrick bond over conversation about movies, burgers, and the dark recesses of the human soul. Their trip takes them into the heart of the South, and they are unpleasantly greeted at the hospital they arrive at by a Christian receptionist with a decidedly Satanic attitude. Patrick informs Alison that his telepathy, which he cannot control, direct, or turn off, has uncovered an important secret of the person they’re visiting. Alison thanks him and goes in alone to see her old friend, Feral.
Feral is a regenerator, basically Wolverine on steroids. You can stick a sword in her face and she’ll just find it annoying. She stops dudes from getting away by chopping off her own feet to stuff in the tailpipes of their cars. Alison and Feral once teamed up to fight crime, where Alison’s straight-laced comic-book seriousness made for an odd-couple clash with Feral’s drinking, smoking, cursing, fuck-the-plan-and-let-me-at-’em ways, but as they eat bullets and throw shoes at psychics together, they realize they have a lot in common and develop a friendship.
So Feral kisses Alison, Alison punches Feral through a window, and with all of the psychics defeated, they part ways. While Alison is busy being the poster child for what government-controlled child superheroes should be, Feral’s life falls apart. Her local support group collapses, and Feral isn’t good at anything except not dying. She makes a lot of bad decisions and hurts a lot of people while she tries to figure out her life—or rather, tries to figure out how to die.
Then she turns on the TV and sees Alison do what Alison does in chapter 2: quit.
Basically, the inciting event of SFP is the one where Alison Green aka Mega Girl aka Girl Superman declares on live national television that being a superhero is stupid. Having defeated all of the giant robots and clown-themed bank robbers before the start of the story, she announces that her expertise on punching things really hard does not translate into expertise on solving all of the remaining problems of poverty, social justice, hatred, politics, and emotional issues—all of the problems that actually exist, instead of being invented by an author for the sake of exciting comic book battles.
Alison takes off the mask and goes to college to learn how to solve all of the world’s problems, which is the expected skill set of a recent college graduate. And Feral, having experienced her own life problems totally failing to be solved by her superhero lifestyle, decides to do the other thing you can do instead of going to college, which is take a year off to explore the world.
Feral travels. Having never really been out of the Deep South before, has her mind blown by the kinds of things she sees and the people she meets in Europe and Asia. And because she’s a regenerator, when her mind is blown, it comes back together, bigger and better than before.
There are two really significant experiences Feral has while overseas, as she explains to Alison in her hospital room. One is simply seeing all the different ways that people with powers (“anomalies,” as they’re called in the comic) are treated depending on the culture. In America, everyone is expected to be a superhero and fight crime. In Western Europe, you’re expected to be a normal person who might be able to fly or turn invisible or something. In India, you’re a deity involved in some complex cultural conflict.
And second, Feral sees a lot of poor people. She meets a tremendous number of people suffering in all kinds of ways, and she has no idea how to help them.
Because there’s no one to beat up, and yet that's the only problem-solving skill she has.
So in the span of just a few pages we watch Feral’s worldview alter radically. Her sense of the size of the world, and the amount of suffering in it, expands from her hometown in Mississippi to something global in scale. And between Alison’s public declaration and the different ways people with superpowers behave around the world, Feral starts to realize that she doesn’t have to conceive of her anomaly as something that’s only useful for fighting.
She starts to connect these ideas: What can I do about all this suffering? and What can I do with my power?
The conversation ends. Alison meets back up with Patrick, whose telepathy has uncovered the full details of Feral’s plan. Patrick explains that Feral plans to spent the rest of her life in perpetual surgery, her organs constantly being harvested to donate to needy people to save as many lives as possible. This plan will require her to be in constant agony and leave her no time whatsoever for anything remotely resembling a personal life. She is to become an organ farm for the human race.
Alison is understandably horrified. But after getting over her initial shock, her subsequent conversation with Patrick reveals that her problem with Feral’s decision isn’t the size of Feral’s sacrifice but rather how little it will accomplish. Donating organs will save lives but do nothing to address the poverty and institutional problems that makes saving those lives necessary in the first place.
Tired of having the most depressing conversations in the universe, Alison flirts over Loony Tunes, steals all the chocolate in the world, and goes to bed.
Alison and Patrick return to the hospital the next day, where they are greeted by the sight of a group of protesters. These protesters are a bunch of white, angry Deep South Christians protesting the donation of superpowered organs. They are portrayed in a deliberately stereotypical fashion: the spitting image of the sort of “real American” Christian whose ignorance of science is only exceeded by their ignorance of the Bible—the protesters helpfully carry signs that say things like “Share the Body of Christ, Not the Body of Satan” and “Not what the Founding Fathers wanted.” Alison, a liberal, college-going New Yorker, is about as interested in their ideas as you’d expect.
Anyway, Alison goes in to the hospital to try to talk Feral out of her plan. There’s also another powered individual there that Feral knows from London, a teleporter named Johnny trying to talk her out of it as well, albeit from a very different perspective than Alison. Alison and Johnny argue, Feral declares her intention to follow through with her idea despite their objections, and says her goodbyes. Many tears are shed. But not by me. Because I am very tough and do not cry.
While Alison and Johnny continue their debate out in the lobby, Feral is strapped down to begin the never-ending operation. The receptionist from earlier lets a masked man in through the back who barges into Feral’s operating room with a flamethrower, incinerating the doctors and Feral (though the latter recovers.)
Alison bursts in and one-punches the man through a wall, killing him. She then goes out to the protesters, identifying their attitude as the driving force behind the attack on Feral and the doctors, and threatens to murder them all if they don’t give up the people behind the attack. A police officer tries to arrest her. She eats his gun.
Patrick attempts to calm her down by pointing out that he can blackmail these people much more efficiently than she can intimidate them. Finally, Feral’s still-regenerating body crawls out to put herself between Alison and the scared fuckhead protesters. Alison takes a chill pill and the chapter ends with her visiting a supervillain to talk about her fantasies of mass murder and finally her megalomaniacal desire to make the world as good a place as it can possibly be. Yay!
With the events summarized, there’s a lot of amazing things about this chapter from a rationalist fiction perspective and I’m just going to talk about some of them in no particular order.
Ideological Conflict
One of the most obviously impressive things about SFP is the realistic and engaging ideological disputes in which conflicting viewpoints are all represented in ways that feel very honest and real. There are various examples throughout the chapter, but the clearest one is the debate between Alison, Feral, and Johnny in the hospital room about the moral correctness of Feral’s decision.
Alison, Feral, and Johnny are extremely different people. Alison is a trained, experienced soldier with great parents and a great education. She’s intelligent, caring, and just a teensy bit fed up with the way the world is. Feral, meanwhile, is poorly educated and grew up in the poverty of the Deep South. She’s as broken up by her lack of faith in her own ability to make the world a better place as she is by all of the suffering in said world that needs to be made better.
Finally, Johnny is a London fashion designer. He’s wealthy, cool, and all about enjoying the life that’s given to you. He’s also a teleporter, but as he makes clear, this is of secondary importance when describing him.
Alison and Johnny are both here to talk Feral out of her plan, but from completely different points of view. Hilariously, they end up arguing with each other more than with Feral.
Basically, Alison thinks Feral’s plan doesn’t go far enough. Feral’s plan doesn’t solve poverty or death or institutional problems that preserve poverty and shitty health care systems. And it sets an impossible bar for self-sacrifice that other people won't be able to meet. Meanwhile, Johnny totally rejects Feral’s selflessness—as he says, “Your life is nobody else’s to lead. You don’t owe those fucking people anything.”
Alison politely invites Johnny to go fuck himself. Feral jumps in to defend Johnny’s right to share his viewpoint—from Alison’s perspective and ours, Johnny is an intruder, but from Feral’s perspective, Johnny is a close friend she invited to be here to say goodbye to. Alison tries to further articulate what’s wrong with Feral’s plan: “Give a man a heart, and then what? Watch him get obliterated in the next ethnic cleansing or natural disaster.”
That's when Johnny decides that Alison has jumped the shark. Of course Feral is doing the right thing. That’s the problem! He blames Alison for infecting Feral with do-gooder morality: “My God, stop! Can’t you see you’ve already got her ass-over-tea-kettle with your nonsense?”
Feral rejects both of their viewpoints. She can’t be self-centered like Johnny. And as she tells Alison, “I know you wanna fix it so the day stays saved forever. But it might not shake out that way, and until it does, the rest of us got helpin’ to do.”
That’s the end of the conversation. To me, what’s most impressive and most subtle about it is how intensely emotional it is. Each character clearly has an ideological viewpoint—Alison’s “figure out the best possible thing and do it,” Johnny’s “Obsessing over morality fucks everything up, live for yourself,” and Feral’s “I’m going to do what I can to help people right now.” Yet while these perspectives are presented unambiguously, no one ever lectures or sounds like a typed-up explanation of a particular point of view. Instead, they all struggle to articulate themselves, cut each other off, and express their perspectives in ways unique to their own personalities and the details of the situation at hand. In particular, Alison and Johnny end up arguing with each other more than with Feral even though they share the goal of talking Feral out of her plan because they find each other so morally incomprehensible.
But the writer must have comprehended both of them in order to write them.
They’re all quite persuasive, too.
Reproducible cognitive development
When we are introduced to Feral, we learn two things about her very quickly: one is that she’s violent and backwards and barely aware of, let alone concerned about the bigger picture, and two is that she’s quite intelligent.
(We also learn that she’s all kinds of gay, but that’s not relevant to this essay. It is relevant to my forthcoming essay: “Rationalist Fiction: Gay As All Hell?”)
So despite the fact that Alison went to a good school and has modern liberal parents who invested every economic and emotional resource they could into her whereas Feral grew up in the Third World of the United States, they develop a chemistry and a rapport. Alison is a nerd, as Feral repeatedly observes, whereas Feral spends her time in bars and has lots of sex, and yet Alison is ultimately quite comfortable in Feral’s company, and a big part of that is because Feral is smart enough for Alison to enjoy talking to her.
But Alison is taking on threats around the globe whereas Feral is taking on threats around her neighborhood. So they don’t see each other for a while. Feral, like most people, ends up conforming to the standards of her peer group, which unfortunately is quite low. Her local gang of powered buddies are drug users or violent criminals or just plain losers. Until finally, seeing that Alison has gone to college—basically a foreign country in and of itself to Feral’s catlike eyes—she decides to get out of the United States and see the world.
Feral’s journey consists of about five pages depending on when you want to start counting. Yet the experience it conveys rings incredibly true to me as someone who also traveled the world and found it mind-opening. Instead of deciding to sacrifice my own welfare to provide the world’s entire organ supply, I chose to write dumb reddit posts, but otherwise it was basically the same thing.
So much about Feral’s gradually evolving mindset is conveyed in such a tight space that it allows the reader to go along with her while being thoroughly entertained. One way you could state the basic concept of a Level 1 -> 2 -> 3 intelligent character is that they represent increasing levels to which you can follow along with the character’s thoughts without something going wrong.
A level 1 character is someone whose thoughts you can follow without breaks—someone whose thoughts are continuous (but not necessarily differentiable). They don’t just stop thinking or suddenly swerve in some unexplainable way to make the story work.
A level 2 character is someone whose thoughts you can follow along with and be genuinely impressed by their intelligence because their thoughts did something with the details of the story that your own thoughts didn’t but in retrospect probably should have.
A level 3 character is someone whose thoughts are so imbued with a helpful cognitive pattern, or whose thoughts evolve from something common but not helpful to something uncommon and remarkably more useful, that the simple act of reading their thoughts can reproduce said pattern or prompt said evolution in the mind of the reader.
Note that in this definition a level 3 intelligent character can be stupider than a level 2 character. Feral is not a genius; she’s smart enough to keep up with someone going to a decent private school and that’s all.
(Then there are level 4 intelligent characters. These are characters written so vividly, whose intelligence is represented so faithfully on the page that they actually are intelligent and can, with time and resources, escape the boundaries of their book bindings. There is only one rule for level 4 intelligent characters: NEVER WRITE LEVEL 4 INTELLIGENT CHARACTERS!)
I’ve never tested this—and am totally not a hypocrite—but I’d imagine that Feral’s story could genuinely help a lot of people experience the same kind of development that she did. It’s easy for me to imagine a young person reading this story and using Feral’s journey to take themselves out of their local concerns and into the realm of thinking about global issues and serious moral questions.
Within the comic itself, the test of Feral’s level 3ness (do NOT start going around evaluating characters by whether they are level 1, 2, or 3 intelligent, it is NOT THE POINT!) is that Alison can follow her thoughts and receive Feral’s cognitive patterns to such an extent that Alison can use them to learn about her own reasons for disagreeing with Feral.
(Feral can be wrong because her evolved cognitive pattern is a useful improvement over her previous one which saw her in a downward spiral, but hardly represents the best or only way to think. Saying that a character has level 3 intelligence is an empirical assertion, not a compliment.)
Alison talks it over with her telepathic buddy Patrick, whose mind-reading skills help him to articulate thoughts that she’s too emotionally overwhelmed by to discuss. To wit, Feral’s cognitive evolution constitutes going from animal-like selfishness with no greater understanding and no moral concerns beyond securing her local environment to global moral concern—or, as Patrick puts it, “trying to save the world.” And in perceiving that this is how Feral thinks, Alison, through Patrick, is able to recognize that her thinking has gone beyond saving the world to changing it.
In other words, Alison learns by exploring her model of Feral’s mind, which she’s able to do because there is a model of Feral’s mind which is strong enough to reproduce Feral’s mental patterns when tested against ideas that do not come from Feral’s mind.
Writing the alien
You have to comprehend Draco as a truly alien intelligence, sapient and capable of complex language use, yet so extremely different from life as you know it that he doesn’t even know what a gene is. You have to leave the comfortable confines of your own mind and enter a mind with different concepts and heuristics, a mind that is still a powerful intelligence even though it doesn’t agree with you about certain things.
(Read the comic up through chapter three before you let me spoil this one for you. It’s genuinely a great moment in comics, web-based or other.)
When Alison and Patrick get started on their road trip, Alison wants to put on some music because she is a human being. Patrick, a telepath who cannot turn off his telepathy, requests something without lyrics. He finds it disconcerting to hear a human voice without being able to hear the thoughts behind it. Similarly, he hates watching movies and TV because he can see people moving and talking but he cannot hear their thoughts.
After their emotionally draining conversation about Feral’s plan and some other horrific stuff, Alison decides they are going to watch some TV. Patrick protests that he hates watching people on a screen, so Alison has a bright idea and puts on Loony Tunes. Patrick, who had a bit of a rough childhood, has never seen a cartoon before. He studies the screen intently as the classic gag plays out in front of him: Bugs Bunny versus Daffy Duck as they debate who is to be blasted in the face by the hunter, Elmer Fudd. Daffy Duck insists it is rabbit season, Bugs Bunny declares it to be duck season instead. They go back and forth with the intensity of Federer and Nadal: Rabbit season! Duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season! Suddenly a switch: Bugs Bunny says rabbit season. Daffy Duck is so caught up in the pattern of contradicting Bugs that he declares it to be duck season. Moreover, he announces that he's done with the argument, and so promptly gets shot in the face.
And Patrick bursts out laughing. He cracks up like a crazy person. It’s literally the funniest thing he’s ever seen. Because Patrick is a telepath, jokes cannot surprise him. He always sees the punchline coming. And watching live action movies or TV just feels wrong. But a cartoon? He’s not expecting to be able to read Bugs Bunny’s mind. And so the joke hits him with enough shock to reduce him to tears.
(Also, pay attention, fellas: It’s at the moment of him loving Loony Tunes with an undiminished boyish passion that Alison starts making eyes at Patrick. More webcomic-based dating tips to follow!)
I don’t really have a strong conclusion. This essay was originally going to be about all of the ideological conflict in SFP but just working on its presence in chapter 3 turned into this. And there’s something about writing 4000 words about this webcomic that constitutes a self-refuting act: how can Feral be a level 3 intelligent character when I read her story and then wrote this instead of, like, donating my kidney?
But the writer and artist probably didn’t donate their kidneys either. What a pair of jerks!
Alison lives in my head right now, and I’m going to make her pay rent, damn it: If I don’t get a hundred upvotes, I’m kicking her out on her broke ass.
So while the main point of this essay is that you should go read SFP, the other point is something I don’t really understand about the point of literature, which is to collect voices in your head. Because there are level 3 characters who will make you stronger, but there are also level negative 3 characters whose thought processes will reproduce themselves in your mind evilly, like a wasp laying its eggs inside you. These are thought processes which will make you angry and stupid and selfish and a victim of your own mind.
The purpose of reading—the whole dang point of it, I’m going to unjustifiably assert here—is to collect voices in your head for the sake of using them to augment your powers, pretty much exactly like equipping the right Charms in Hollow Knight for the next boss. Some Charms will give you the ability to fly and shoot laser beams and become invulnerable—metaphorically speaking—and others will drain your health and sap your will to fight.
I also realize that some people probably don’t have voices in their heads just like some people don’t have images in their heads, and the empirical implication of my above assertion is that these people don’t read, and that probably isn’t true, so I guess I’m wrong.
but, um
At the end of the chapter, Alison visits her old nemesis, Cleaver, a mass murderer, a bladed, mutated monstrosity and one of a very small number of people who’s even remotely a match for her physically, inside his specially designed prison. I’m gonna let Mega Girl close this one out.
And here’s the thing, Cleaver! I’m not really that different from you. I look like how I look and you look like how you look. The people that were supposed to take care of you didn’t. The people that were supposed to take care of me did. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were only a handful of moments, a handful of decisions that make up the difference between you and me.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I know what it’s like to feel alone. I know what it’s like to live in a paper world, to be good at hurting people, to think everybody should just shut up and do what you say. And then I remember that deep down, people are good, everybody’s trying and nobody deserves respect just for being powerful. So if I’ve got the voice in my head that tells me to crush people, then I think you probably have the voice that says the other thing too. If people keep calling us heroes and villains, they’ll never know how close we came to listening to the other voice all those times.
Mega Girl! If people were as good as you say they are, they’d know it’s your choice to help them. If your parents hadn’t raised you to be a good little girl, they’d be fucked. The only reason their world makes sense is because you keep it that way. Do you really think they deserve all of this?
No. They deserve better.
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2020.11.26 20:39 Amanda1417 Realized my ex best friend and I were in love with each other?

Have you ever looked back on a friendship where the two of you were totally into each other, yet you were oblivious? We were best friends about a year, the latter half i drove 2 hours to go stay with her for the weekend every weekend for 6 months. We would cuddle a lot, she got really jealous of the men I was dating. She started seeing someone near the end and I was so unhappy about it and I didn't know why, I thought it was just bc the dude was an asshole. I started a relationship with the guy and I drifted off being her friend... idk it just didn't feel right to be friends with her anymore. Over a year and a gay realization later, shit. We were in love with each other. We even kissed at a party once. She has reached out a few times but I ignored her. I want to apologize and explain but I'm not sure if I should? It has been so long.
Edit: My parents just left from Thanksgiving today. I will message her :) I drafted up a long apology about how I left things etc... will wait to bring up romantic things for later. I'll keep you updated! Thanks for so many responses, I'm thankful for each and every one of you today 😋
She viewed my message a couple hours ago, starting to lose hope 😔 she might just need some time to process...
She replied!! Long story short sounds like we are both ready for the most part to forgive, forget and get back to being friends again. I'm not sure about anything else as of yet, but we will see 🥰
If anyone sees this, please take a few minutes to read and comment 💜 has a slight update, plus I'm just trying to make sure she is actually interested in me before I say anything 😅
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2020.11.26 20:14 Brainywizc What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)5

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2020.11.26 15:51 Yosh1220 Slavemaster: Porn: Part 2

I am not a Christian but this verse describes what i am about to show you perfectly.
Thimoty 6: 9 Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
In my last post I have talked about the scientific harms of porn in relation to addiction and depression, but porn is so much more and does so much more. I like to call it the gates of hell, once you get hooked into it and dont get out you will end up in a very bad place. In my last post i talked about how it numbs your brain and you have to watch more and harder stuff to feel any pleasure. This is a path that i want to explore further with you in this post.
Now to everyone whos watched porn on here, think about how your taste in porn was at the beggining and how it changed over time, did it get extremer? weirder? more hardcore? Maybe not for you but checking out other subs you can see numerous people saying that the more they watched the more twisted their taste got. Someone commented on the last post Slavemaster porn 1 that i am mistaking cause and action, that the people struggling with it are sick to begin with and thats why they started watching it in the first place. Now that doesnt make any sense because as i told you backed up with scientific evidence that Porn fits into the addiction framework and by watching it all you will sooner or later need to progress in the intensity of the material to get any rush out of it. So the argument that porn is good because it prevents those people from actually living out those fantasies, no its the opposite, most people only start to get twisted by their excessive consumption of porn. Now here is an example of something somewhat extreme, this of course doesnt apply to it but its a case of what can happen, this link shows the search results of user 927 Aol, leaked search historys, Here you can see how it starts out already a bit unnormal but in line and how with time his taste gets weirded and more twisted and finally illegal and deviant.
Now some of you would say you cant make such claims only by checking out nofap subs or one extreme example, show us proof. Of course you have every right to say that and i will happily show you proof. Teens who watch porn are reported to commit more sexual violent acts also knowns as TDV, Teen dating violence.
Violent pornography exposure was associated with all types of TDV, though patterns differed by gender. Boys exposed to violent pornography were 2-3 times more likely to report sexual TDV perpetration and victimization and physical TDV victimization, while girls exposed to violent pornography were over 1.5 times more likely to be perpetrate threatening TDV compared to their non-exposed counterparts.
It also makes you more accepting towards rape myths and sexual deviancy in general, less sensitive and twists your brain into accepting sick things, like rape fantasies and violent sexual accts, as shown in the following studies.
A positive d indicates exposure to pornography had negative outcomes, while a negative d indicates positive consequences in relation to sexual deviancy, sexual perpetration, intimate relationships, and rape myth outcomes. As can be noted, no negative d's emerged in the current meta-analysis, thereby indicating the consistent negative effect of exposure to pornography in each of these four areas.
Here it shows how even rape gets subcouncisly accepted.
The present study was conducted to learn more about the association between fraternity membership and attitudes and behaviors associated with sexual aggression against women. A male experimenter took digital pictures of all of the images of women displayed in the rooms of 30 fraternity men and 30 non-fraternity men on a residential, small, liberal arts college campus. The men also filled out a rape myth acceptance scale. A total of 91 images were found in the form of posters, “pin-ups,” advertisements, or computer screen savers. It was found that fraternity men had significantly more images of women displayed in their rooms and that the images were rated significantly more degrading than those in the rooms of non-fraternity men. Fraternity men were found to have significantly higher scores on a rape supportive attitude scale (RSA). RSA scores were positively related to the amount of degradation in the images found in men's rooms. The possible purposes and consequences of the display of degrading sexual images are discussed.
Now we can go a step further and see that the most common thing amongst serial killers is porn. Now almost every one of those murderes says that porn had a massive effect into lowering their guilt and hesitation in commiting the horrible acts they did. They dont have a reason to lie about this and even if, these people dont really knew each other but everyone of them said the same thing about pornography.
There is also a video of Ted Bundy talking about how porn affected him.
Okay so then there is one big counter argument: Sexual crimes actually decreased. But here is the catch, the less it got the thighter security and tracking technology got. Saying that porn prevents crimes from happening is ignorant considering the evidence i provided, the only reason why these crimes decreased is because its harder to commit them without getting catched.
The term teen has been on top lists in pornography searchings and if you think about the actual meaning of this its sickeing. People get aroused by the thought of a barely legal person being sexually displayed and who knows where it goes from on there.
But this begs the question again: Why all of this? Why would anyone want this to happen? If i had the answers I would tell you but i am trying to figure out the truth aswell.
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2020.11.26 14:14 OldmanRevived I saw five movies (Hillbilly Elegy, Let Him Go, Buddy Games, Happiest Season, Uncle Frank)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
First up was Hillbilly Elegy
When it was published in 2016, J.D. Vance's memoir "Hillbilly Elegy," unread by me, was slammed by many for indulging in the same hackneyed stereotypes about rural America that it was theoretically designed to deflate, and for reducing the impact of social, political and economic factors in order to favor a more inspirational narrative of triumphing. In this story, a young man, attending Yale Law School, returns to his hometown in Ohio to help his mother, who recently overdosed on heroin. While that story plays, the man's past, as well as flashes from a more distant past, reveals itself, showing us what it was like for him as a child, living amidst economic uncertainty and various unaddressed conflicts within his family.
Indeed, there are at least a few broader stories in the background of Vance's personal account. One of them is what happened to the family's native spot in the Appalachia region of Kentucky, once prospering with the jobs and industry of a local steel mill but later, by the time he is aware of it, filled with boarded-up storefronts, as people linger on streets, sidewalks, and parking lots with nothing to do. This juxtaposes the family's return home with their initial migration to Ohio. The mill was running back then, when J.D.'s grandparents packed up the car and moved.
The other broader tale belongs to the family, beyond adult J.D. (Gabriel Basso) and his younger self (played by Owen Asztalos). In the present, J.D. is looking for an internship at a law firm that will keep him close to his girlfriend Usha (Freida Pinto). While dining with prospective law partners, he receives a call from his sister Lindsay (Haley Bennett), who inform him that their mother Bev (Amy Adams) overdosed. He returns home and tries to arrange a place for Bev in a rehab facility, all while he has a job interview the next morning.
In the past, J.D. had to deal with the mercurial moods of his mother, while seeking support and attention from his grandmother, affectionately called Mamaw (Glenn Close). We see the start and decline of Bev's addiction; she's a parasite, an addict, a narcissist, and a desperate user of others, notably her own family. J.D. foots the bill for a week-long stay on four credit cards, only to learn that Bev has no interest in going into rehab. As a former nurse who trashed her career when she roller-skated through the corridors of a hospital after popping pills, she's been shooting heroin, and she seems to be going down fast.
How did J.D. go all the way from Middletown to Yale? We're not entirely sure, though we know that he got there, so there’s not much suspense about whether he figured out how to transcend his past. The film keeps flashing back to his days as a teenager in the late 1990s. J.D., it's suggested, gets lost because his mother flees from one man to the next. When she marries on a whim, he winds up with a druggie delinquent stepbrother. A scene or two later, he has fallen into delinquency himself, a transformation that is less than convincing.
The movie's tone, guided by J.D.'s narration, veers between romanticizing certain elements of this downhome culture, a scolding attitude toward certain issues and a dismissive outlook on others, and just wallowing in the abject misery of this place and these people. It's all over the place, really, although there's one position upon which the movie never genuinely stops: compassion. Director Ron Howard works in the tradition of Colorful People who relentlessly inflict their colorfulness on us as if we could not see in the first six minutes that they were afflicted.
Give some credit to Glenn Close, who spends most of the movie with a cigarette in her mouth, wisecracking to everything that stands in her way. She acts as a person who is tired of being colorful, and even more tired of having a colorful family. What's best about the movie are the actors' human qualities. Amy Adams has a direct, blunt honesty that is appealing, and it's put to a good effect here. Both Asztalos and Basso have a dry way of sardonically holding their distance, but there you have the role of most narrators, anyway.
If I spent a lot of time performing a census of the cast, it is because the movie seems to rotate among its characters as if taking inventory. Nothing happens in "Hillbilly Elegy" that I cared much about. The movie leaves me with such vivid memories of its times and places, its feelings and weathers, and yet leaves me so completely indifferent to its plot. It presents the cycles of addiction and abuse, not with any insight or thoughtfulness, but with a sense of inescapable fate. From this perspective, these characters are essentially condemned to these lives for reasons beyond the movie's ability or willingness to confront.
"Hillbilly Elegy" hinges on Mamaw's hope that she'll leave her family better off than she found them, and it’s clear that J.D.'s story has fulfilled that wish almost as soon as this movie starts. But the process of watching him cut his losses and recommit to his own success is rendered in a way that just isn't dramatically satisfying. Everyone else's lives and problems really don't matter to this story, except that they give J.D. a few lessons to learn and a whole lot to run from. This is a movie that's surprisingly good in areas where it doesn't need to be good at all, and pretty awful in areas where it has to succeed.

Next up was Let Him Go
The opening images of "Let Him Go" include Kevin Costner standing behind a fence and watching as a horse jogs around in the pasture. He spends a lot of time standing alone, doing nothing, maybe thinking nothing, observing as if it is a task that provides him with purpose. He's not bitter or depressed or anything of the sort. He's simply content. This is just another relaxing start to his day.
George (Costner) and Margaret (Diane Lane) have been married for decades. Living on a ranch in Montana, the two are finally and completely happy when we first meet them. Their house evokes the healing serenity of wide-open spaces, overlooking fields that are perfect for horseback riding. They have an adult son, James (Ryan Bruce), who has married and given the two their first grandchild. All of them live under the same roof. When George and Margaret are sitting at the table eating breakfast, they look so comfortable with each other that they make us feel cozy.
Suddenly, tragedy strikes when James dies in an accident, and their insular, peaceful world is understandably shattered. A few years later, his wife Lorna (Kayli Carter) marries Donnie Weboy (Will Brittain), but it’s obvious from their dour ceremony that this is a union of necessity. While in town one day, Margaret sees Donnie abuse Lorna, as well as her grandson Jimmy. She tells George, and they go to the apartment where Lorna and Donnie live, hoping to take custody of the boy. Instead, they find that Donnie has abruptly packed them up and moved to parts unknown.
Margaret refuses to accept the situation, planning a road trip across state lines to retrieve Jimmy and raise him. George is reluctant, but she eventually convinces him. After packing his suitcase, George wanders out of the room without it. Margaret thinks he has changed his mind, but he explains he's just turning off the water. "I'm not coming home to busted pipes," he says. They pack up the station wagon for a road trip to begin the process of tracking down Donnie. She even packs George's old service revolver, just in case.
They travel from Montana to North Dakota, making a few stops along the way for information or to rest. George's connections as a retired lawman, vaguely famous in the region, help. They meet Peter, played by Booboo Stewart, a young Native American man living off a stolen horse, but not looking for any loot to steal. George and Margaret reminisce and occasionally bicker, but the two mostly share comfortable silences that say everything.
On a plot level, that ramps up the tension as George and Margaret encounter various members of Donnie's family (Jeffrey Donovan plays a false-smiling uncle, and Lesley Manville shows up as the tough, authoritative matriarch), leading to an unstoppable series of threats and violence. There’s a third act that's so wildly out of left field, it could have shifted the tone completely. But somehow, it works, because the movie never made me lose interest in its central characters. There's still a reticence, an unwillingness to push the violence beyond where it wants to go
Faithful readers will know that I have a certain fondness for movies with villains who are so despicable and repugnant that we cheer when we see something horrible happen to them. "Let Him Go" does not disappoint in this regard, although it does cost us something extra in the process. I still have yet to decide if the movie's ending is a particularly good one. As silly as it sounds, I really came to enjoy the company of George and Margaret, and I couldn't bear to see anything nasty happen to such good people. Oh well. Maybe it's another example of how sometimes we just have to face reality.
Many of the reviews of the film have criticized it on the basis of its plot and its tonal shift. I like it because of the time I got to spend with the characters as they dealt with family matters over a period of days. It was intrinsically interesting, not because of what it was about, but simply because of what it was. I think perhaps "Let Him Go" is gently trying to be a movie about imperfect but interesting people, the goodness of whose souls is tested by a private crisis. No great lessons are learned, no great statements made, but by the end of the film we have spent some interesting time with these people, and know them better.

Next up was Buddy Games
Although I am aware sperm is a precious bodily fluid, I don't find it an especially funny one. In "Buddy Games," the male characters are neurotic about three subjects: the size, experience, and health of their reproductive organs. This movie is like a study of de-evolution and man's ability to cheat natural selection. It's full of material that would be rejected from most third-grade recess periods for lacking wit and dignity.
Josh Duhamel, an actor who projects likability, makes his directorial debut with this comedy, which he also co-wrote and stars in. Looking at the film's press notes, he informs us that he always wanted to direct, and that writing a screenplay seemed like the natural way to start. He was close. Writing a bad screenplay is a natural way to start. There's no excuse in making the decision to film it. What he has made is yet another hymn to arrested male adolescence that should be mandatory viewing in convents to prevent nuns from thinking of renouncing their vows of celibacy.
Duhamel plays Bob, a successful businessman who has created the Buddy Games, an annual competition in which him and his friends strive to beat each other in a variety of contests. Indulging their "primal need to dominate," the guys usually aim for a lame trophy and, more importantly, bragging rights. The other members are Durfy (Dax Shepard), Doc (Kevin Dillon), Bender (Nick Swardson), Zane (James Roday). At the beginning of the movie, Sheldon (Dan Bakkedahl), the most avid competitor, is having a glorious time, until someone shoots him in the testicles with a paint gun.
Cut to five years later: Sheldon has been in a funk ever since, having lost both precious orbs of manhood. Bob, meanwhile, has a beautiful girlfriend (Olivia Munn), and he's also quite rich, which enables him to restart the Buddy Games at the behest of Sheldon's mother, who thinks it's the only way to lift her son out of his suicidal depression. When the other members prove reluctant to go along, Bob throws in a $150,000 prize as an enticement.
But Sheldon will only come back if Bender, the guy who shot him, will be excluded. To dissuade Bender from joining in, Bob tells him that there's a substantial entry fee. To his surprise, Bender successfully raises money by prostituting himself and selling vodka in his mini-van. Eventually, the group reunites for a new round of games, which include such not so hilarious exercises as attaching steaks to their heads and confronting a giant lizard. The most extended segment involves the men ingesting laxatives at a crowded bar and trying to persuade women to buy them a drink before the drugs take effect. It's no spoiler to reveal that not all of them succeed.
These guys seem to have it out for each other. Sure, a couple of them talk about how the game has kept them together all these years, long after one would imagine childhood friends would go their separate ways. To what end does it keep them together, though? The movie wants us to simultaneously view these characters as representations of middle-aged vulnerability and sometimes as literal punching bags, constantly to be beaten, smashed, and pulverized. There's something wrong with these people, and the simple fact of the matter is that watching them satisfy their masochistic tendencies isn't fun or funny.
There is a kind of one-upmanship now at work in Hollywood, inspired by the success of several gross-out comedies, to elevate smut into an art form. This is not an entirely futile endeavor; it can be done, and when it is done well, it can be funny. There's a scene in this movie where Bender also tries to appease his guilt by offering Sheldon a refrigerated humidor full of his own semen. Later, when Sheldon is in the kitchen making Pina Coladas, he grabs the semen and mixes it in. Yuck. Millions of little soldiers being massacred for a laugh.
For a fleeting moment, the film stops trying to break the Guinness Book record for offensive crudity and decides to simply be funny. The best part of "Buddy Games," and really the best part of any bad movie, is Olivia Munn. When Bob tells her about his plan to start the games again, she doesn't waste any time ditching him. Then, at the end, she rushes over to Bob in hopes that the games are finally over and they can start a life together. She pulls out the little black box, and shows him a ring. What does he do? He rejects it. At this point, it was clear that none of the idiots in "Buddy Games" are worth saving. I don't know about you, but if Olivia Munn walked up to me and handed over an engagement ring, I would take my chances.

Next up was Happiest Season
There is an emerging genre of movies about family reunions at holiday time. It seems to be a truth universally acknowledged that most reunions at Christmas end happily, while most reunions at Thanksgiving end sadly. That's odd, because the way things shake down in the world of fragmented families, we tend to spend Thanksgiving with those we choose, and Christmas with those we must. If those two lists are identical in your life, your holidays must all be joyous, or all not.
Perhaps what drives audiences to films like "Happiest Season" is that certain sense of empathy. The people onscreen may or may not look like us, but we can find some relatability and understanding in their comic foibles and tragic events. The simplest situations conceal hidden traps, and by the time the story arrives at its more serious point, we fully buy into it, because these characters have so endeared themselves to us through the comedy. It's funny in an innocent screwball kind of way.
The basic setup involves Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis), who have been dating for about a year as Christmas approaches. Abby isn't into the holiday season. Her parents, who really were into it, died when she was 19, as Harper loves to point out in expository dialogue. Being a fan of the season, she wants the woman she loves to have that sensation of Christmas joy again. So, she drunkenly invites Abby home for Christmas to meet her family. Regretting the move in the cold light of day, she waits until the car ride to reveal that she isn't actually out to her family.
Harper asks Abby to keep their relationship a secret while they're at the house, with the promise that she'll finally be honest with her family once the holidays are finished. Abby agrees, although it certainly ruins her plans to propose to Harper on Christmas morning. She meets Harper's parents Tipper (Mary Steenburgen), who's more than a bit of a controlling presence in the house, and Ted (Victor Garber), a local city council member who's running for mayor on a platform of some pretty conservative platitudes. Harper's older sister is Jane (Mary Holland), an odd one who always seems to be vying for attention. The eldest sibling is Sloane (Alison Brie), formerly a successful lawyer who quit to raise her children and make custom gift baskets.
From there, the film becomes a full-on farce, complete with eccentric characters, plenty of misunderstandings, and even some close-call gags involving doors and bedroom escapades. It's everything we expect from such material. Most of the action takes place in the house, and whatever happens will have to happen before everybody heads back to the airport. That creates an artificial deadline that makes everything seem more urgent and requires that the truth be told or love declared right here and now, or not at all.
The film is warm-hearted, funny, and involving. Stewart and Davis are well-cast. But it's not completely successful; I have an idea that writer-director Clea DuVall didn't know how to end it, and so she orchestrates a final scene at a gas station that owes more to screwball comedy than to the truth of the story. Some of the characters are broader than the material requires, but one of them, Abby's gay friend John (Dan Levy), is a wonderful comic creation, and there are some scenes of him just answering the phone that are inexplicably hilarious.
Look, a great movie this is not. A pleasant holiday entertainment it is. The generosity of the film is in how DuVall presents these characters without judgment and with considerable sympathy. Harper is in love with Abby; that's not in doubt. But she is slow to understand the depth and complexity of Abby's fabrications. She's sweet, and naive, but not the brightest bulb on the tree. What defines her for the family is not the fact that she's gay, but her own concealed romanticism. By the end, we understand that although life may not give us too much, it often gives enough.

And the last one was Uncle Frank
"Uncle Frank" presents material that cries out to be handled with quiet empathy and hammers us with it. I understand what the film is trying to do, but not why it does it with such crude melodrama. The tone is all wrong for a story of homosexuality; the conclusion of which is not necessarily false, but it does feel a bit dishonest in its simplicity. When you lay it on too thick, the audience is distracted by implausibility rather than identifying with the characters.
The movie begins in 1969 with 14 year old Beth (Sophia Lillis) dreaming of someday escaping the backwater South Carolina town where she lives with her family and seeing the world. She is encouraged in this by her Uncle Frank (Paul Bettany), who did just that; he now teaches at NYU. Frank's rare returns home are marked by the obvious coldness that his father (Stephen Root) demonstrates towards him for absolutely no evident reason. Four years later, driven by Frank's encouragement, Beth is now attending NYU, and it takes only one surprise appearance at a party at Frank's apartment to discover that he is gay and living with his lover of ten years.
Wally (Peter Macdissi) is Frank's committed partner. Just as Beth is figuring out how to react to this information, the phone rings in Frank's apartment. Daddy Mac has died. It's time for Beth, Frank, and Wally to take a road trip, back to South Carolina for the funeral. That's when the perspective changes to Frank, whose cheerful mood drops upon realizing he has to return home and further declines when Beth starts asking about his romantic past. Through flashbacks, we see what has long haunted the uncle, as a teenaged Frank (played by Cole Doman) experiences his first relationship with a young man.
As you might guess, it ended tragically, and as the memories form more clearly, we understand why Mac's death, which Frank confesses to imagining so often, has brought up not relief, but only so much hidden pain. Frank wallows in self-pity and, upon arriving in his hometown, travel-sized bottles of booze. Bettany plays Frank's overt charms and silent despair with equal degrees of effectiveness, although his internalized performance is let down by director Alan Ball in the third act, when the character lets out all of that built-up pressure in drunken arguments and tearful confessionals.
The movie denies Frank of his big moment for a confirmation of Mac's deplorable nature. Instead, we're given an informative glance at the dynamics and conflicts within the extended family. Mac's wife Mammaw (Margo Martindale) is sweet and kind. Beth's father Mike (Steve Zahn) is verbally abusive toward his wife Kitty (Judy Greer) and anyone whose behavior seems out of line. The sister, Neva (Jane McNeill) is mostly quiet, which becomes odd later, when she becomes a vital figure in Frank's constant debate between keeping his secret and finally being honest with his family.
As for Frank, he stays out of the way, quietly reading on the porch as he lights up cigarettes. Lillis' promise as a young actor continues, but Beth is something of a stock audience stand-in device. Either Frank has been incredibly subtle over the years, or she can't see anything in front of her if it's more than an inch away. "I've never met a gay person before," says Beth. Oh, but she has. Frank also points out that the choir director at the First Baptist Church was also a homosexual. "But he’s so religious!" she exclaims.
"Uncle Frank" is a film that starts with promise; I liked the early dynamic between Lillis and Bettany. But it succumbs to so many clichés that anything remotely genuine gets smothered. It's a deeply frustrating movie as Ball has assembled a cast who can undeniably do deep work and then gives nothing but a shallow script. He seems merely thrashing about in a plot too transgressive for his skills. The movie looks upon his process with such skepticism that the movie doesn't even bother an attempt to explain it.
The story becomes less about the man's attempt to come to terms with those feelings and more about waiting to see what will happen. Each of the family members have at least one scene in which they can be honest with Frank, and the movie's final scene, in which they finally say what has needed to be said for a long time, is quite affecting. It's far too long of a wait for such specificity, though. "Uncle Frank" operates primarily as a message movie, and as necessary as that message might be, the movie's lack of a unique and personal approach to the material means that it's not a necessary part of the conversation.
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2020.11.26 09:32 VladtheMemer [REQUEST] [STEAM] Grand Theft Auto IV: The Complete Edition (€5.99)

Hi, everyone! I am requesting GTA IV The Complete Edition, which includes the base GTA 4 game and the two DLCs that came out for it, The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony, along with some performance improvements and changes to the radio which I plan to undo with mods.
The story of how I started playing through the GTA series is pretty simple. During lockdown I would stay up all night every 2 or 3 days watching Vinesauce Joel's GTA streams, starting with Vice City, one of the first games I had ever played but never beat. I had so much fun watching those streams that I had to go back and finish VC for myself, which was awesome despite all the limitations that game had like no free camera while driving, slightly clunky controls and shooting and some infuriating missions. The radio, nostalgia, map, story and gameplay once I got used to it more than made up for those negatives though and playing it felt really good and fun.
I finally beat the game and I wanted to play more, so I started watching Joel's San Andreas streams and I had a lot of fun with that game too, only one of the 3D trilogy that I still go back to today. Then I went on to GTA III, which was still an ongoing series on Joel's streams. That game was rough, but it had its own charm and atmosphere thanks to the low-budget radio (excluding the Scarface soundtrack, that's anything but low-budget) and its story and style.
As for GTA V, I beat that game a few years ago and I still have memories of sharing my screen with a friend on Discord, adding shitty custom songs and going on rampages with the riot mod at 20-something fps on a tiny window or just driving on the highway listening to the amazing hip-hop or talk show radio stations (though this game had the weakest radio overall in my opinion, at least 3 has an excuse and sounds unique today). I also played a lot of GTA Online with another friend after Epic gave it away, I stayed up all night downloading that game cause speed was throttled due to how many people were getting it (the Epic store was down for a little time too before that which is funny to me, thousands of people were flocking to get it).
Now, the requested game finally, GTA IV Complete Edition. I had been thinking of playing it just to have some closure knowing I beat every GTA game on PC and now that Joel has just started a playthrough on his stream it seems like the perfect time to do it. His first stream of this game was hilarious (he has uploaded a second stream to Youtube but I haven't watched it yet) and I recommend checking his stuff out. I used to play this game a lot as a little kid, restarting over and over and thus never finishing it, same for the Episodes From Liberty City stories. The farthest I got in IV was killing Playboy X, doing the bank heist and hiding Manny's body, I don't remember much about EFLC. I know the area surrounding your first apartment like the back of my hand due to how many times I've started from scratch. I always loved playing with the physics by jumping out of a car at high speeds, shoving, punching, shooting and fighting NPCs, spawning helicopters and jumping out once I got to max altitude and throwing bricks around (you could pick up bricks and throw them wherever the hell you felt like in this game, how does nobody talk about this?!). I think I've fucked around like that in this game more than I did in any other GTA, maybe only GTA V comes close.
I would love to finally beat this game and the DLC stories and I would truly appreciate it if you guys could help me out here. I realize this is a long-ass read, but I just wanted to prove that I know these games, I have a history with them dating back to my first gaming memories and that I will play and enjoy this game if I get it from here, it's currently on a 70% discount in the Autumn Sale. I could write entire essays on each game but I think it's time to wrap it up and leave it to you to decide whether or not you want to gift me Grand Theft Auto IV: The Complete Edition!
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submitted by VladtheMemer to GiftofGames [link] [comments]